If You Have a Structured Settlement But You Need Cash Now

I wish someone would explain to me why David Beckham is so determined to go someplace on loan - at the moment it appears he's HEADED TO SPURS - for the next couple of months?

(The Brits are calling this a "shock" move, as if there's one damned thing the man or his wife could do that would "shock" anyone.)

Is it for the money? Well, I always say that there's absolutely no one who is so rich that he doesn't want to be richer, but he and Posh are rolling in it already.

Is it for the commercial positioning, to keep his brand alive by keeping his name in the papers? I suppose it's possible, but as it is the guy can hardly keep his name out of the papers. He orders extra foam on his latte and it's front page news in 90 countries.

Is it for the usual "I want to stay in my national team picture" reasons? Oh please. Do we even have to review that ugly story? Suffice it to say that slow, oft-injured free kick artists who wil be 39 years old in 2014 needn't start making reservations in Rio unless they're going to Carnival.

Is it, as he's claiming, to get in shape? Balderdash. With all the workout technology available to him, and the two months of the Galaxys' training, scrimmaging and games that he'll be missing because he'll be busy training, scrimmaging and playing games with Spurs - yes, they're at a higher level than exhibitions against the Austin Aztecs or Miami FC, but that's hardly relevant; he's not exactly a 90 minute racehorse in LA and unless he's put on 100 pounds since November, two months of preseason is plenty to get him into game shape - the whole "staying sharp" meme is utter nonsense.

Is it simply that he's sick and tired of hanging around with Victoria? Personally I've always liked her and it's unfortunate that she came over here trying to sell the same unsmiling "Posh" persona that so amuses the British but which most Americans tended to misinterpret as arrogance and Paris Hiltonish narcissism. (In reality, she can be positively charming and girlish when she's not selling something)[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P842Tmi6lrc"]GIRLISH AND CHARMING[/ame]

Still, as the saying goes, no matter how hot and lovely any girl is there's some guy somewhere who's sick and tired of putting up with her shit and maybe Becks just needs some "me" time.

Now I'd be the last person to deny the man a hobby.

Particularly after spending all that time kissing Jack Warners' ass - and getting lied to in return - in the service of his country, surely he deserves some personal time and SUING PROSTITUTES simply isn't enough to keep a man busy.

What's more, now that both of the highly-touted David Beckham Academy setups have been quietly shuttered (remember when that was one of the big reasons he was coming to the US?) - which of course made the opening of one in Trinidad & Tobago this Fall to appease Jack Warner look even more ludicrous, not that anyone was rude enough to mention it - Becks really does need something to fill his spare time.

God forbid he should hang around with his kids or something.

I'm sorry, I just don't get it.