Blatter: Lay Off the Gay Sex in Qatar

If there's one thing you can always rely on it's the dead certainty that no matter how bad any particular situation may look, FIFA Grand Klaxon Sepp Blatter can always find a way to make it worse.

Or at least stupider.

Blatters' latest descent from tragedy to farce came yesterday in South Africa where, as FIFA dutifully reported, he went to "thank the South African Organizers for a successful World Cup".

If this sounds like a load of horse hooey to you, well, you've obviously been paying attention.

The running-for-reelection-in-January Swiss shyster is in desperate need of some good press after the absolute shellacking he and his merry band of thieves and scoundrels have been taking in the Western press ever since he opened up those envelopes with "Russia" and "Qatar" inside.

Sepps' hastily cobbled together itinerary was to start with a meeting with South African Presdent Zuma, who has always been good for a heaping pile of slobbering Sepp love, but that was mysteriously canceled at the last minute. No explanation was provided but my money is on Zuma not wanting to be seen in public with his former bosom pal now that there's nothing much else he can do for him.

(He also reportedly tried to get a photo op with Nelson Mandela. Madibas' family, who were visibly angry about all the pressure FIFA put on him to make appearances that his doctors were saying were not in his best interests, did not even respond.)

The other major item on Blatters' agenda was to meet with the local organizing committee and indeed "thanks" was on the menu.

Unfortunately, as we all know, Sepp feels that nothing says "thanks" quite like a big old pile of money as far as he's concerned, so he grandly announced that each and every member of the committee - and there are a whopping bunch of them - could come on up and collect a check for 500,000 Rand, (about US$75,000.)

And since the South African media has now fully awoken to the fact that SA got royally screwed over by this whole deal - they spent billions on the white elephant stadiums Blatter insisted on and then FIFA gathered up every last dime of income and sailed for home leaving all those sick, hungry and impoverished local citizens, well, sick, hungry and impoverished.

So of course Sepp handing out money to a room full of guys who gave him a standing ovation - they're nothing if not gracious down there - went over like a lead balloon with the general public.

At this point, with the trip having become just one more dismal PR mess for FIFAs' flack gerbils to sort out, he should have gotten back on his twin engine custom Gulfstream and headed back to Zurich. But See must have figured that he could use his great personal charm and wit on the once-tame SA media one last time before jetting off to the Alps.

So he agreed to meet with some reporters and, of course, the topic of Russia and Qatar came up almost immediately.

Unsurprisingly, one query was centered around the fact that certain activities - drinking and what used to be called sodomy being prominent among them - are considered criminal activity in Qatar as in much of the region.

Blatter, in what may have been an attempt at humor, replied:

"I would say [gay fans] should refrain from any sexual activities."

As it was, various gay footballing groups had already publicly condemned the Qatar choice, and have been working on organizing a boycott, saying reasonable things like:

"We do not feel the World Cup should be held in any country that abuses and disregards the basic human rights of LGBT people.

Of course at this point all that FIFA could have done, after dragging Blatter off the podium and stuffing him into a car for a fast trip to the airport was issue a "clarification" of some kind which would have been bad all by itself.

As it was, Sepp decided to try and extricate his foot from his mouth on the spot. Guess how that went.

Blatter was quoted as saying: "this gives me the opportunity to say that in FIFA, and this is in the statutes of FIFA, whether it is in politics, whether it is in religion, we don't want racism, and we know what this means, and neither do we want discrimination".

Well gosh, Seppy, that's good to know. Now about that 2022 World Cup....

One prominent Gay Footballing Fan organization responded this morning:

"The statements and the position adopted by Sepp Blatter and Fifa regarding LGBT fans who would pay the enormous ticket and travel prices to attend the World Cup in 2022 should have been wholly unacceptable a decade ago.

"Instead, with little more than an afterthought Fifa has endorsed the marginalisation of LGBT people around the world.

"Anything less than a full reversal of his position is unacceptable and if the FA and football and sporting associations around the world fail to acknowledge this insult, they too will be complicit

"If sport cannot serve to change society, even temporarily during the duration of an event like the World Cup that invites the world to participate, then it is little more than grown men chasing a ball and we should treat it as such."

Not too much anyone can argue with there, so FIFA has decided not to try. Earlier today they issued a media release announcing hat there would be no further comment on this whole ugly mess.

As for Blatter, his parting words to a stunned media assembly deserve to be writ large on every soccer page around the world, just in case some of you may have gotten the wrong idea about this whole World Cup bidding deal:

"This has nothing to do with money"

That'll be the day, Sepp. That'll be the day.