Dog Bites Man and Other "Sporting" News

As I noted a week or two ago, the news that FIFA IS GOING TO DISMISS ALL CHARGES in the "Voting for Dollars" kerfuffle will, unfortunately, likely be greeted with worldwide yawns.

Was there really some question that it would turn out any other way?

In fairness, it must be noted that in a US court of law the same result might obtain; you're simply not allowed to solicit someone to break the law and then slap them in jail for it.

But of course this isn't a US court it's a FIFA tribunal, and the standards are a bit different. Or, if you prefer, non-existant.

Sadly, the fact of the matter is that if these same guys were filmed chasing representatives for the USSF bid down, tackling them in the street, beating them with iron pipes and demanding large cash payments from them as the victims screamed "No, no, we can't, it would be WRONG!!!" the result would likely have been the same.

Because of course while this isn't the dreaded "government interference" it's in fact ten times worse: it's "journalistic interference". And it'll be a cold day in hell before Sepp Blatter lets a lowly newspaper corner him like this.

As I've noted many times over the past year, only one thing matters to Blatter and that's getting re-elected early next year. Everything that comes across his desk gets weighed with that one scale. And the fact is that the 220 or so guys who will be voting in the election don't much like reporters prying into their business either.

At the end of the day, the equation is not Blatter vs. FIFA. It's Blatter and FIFA against the rest of us in a battle where no one - not governments, not the media, not the players, not public opinion, nobody - has any particular leverage. Or relevance.

Blatter is like some cinematic Mafia chieftain being led out of the courthouse into a waiting Cadillac after being acquitted for the 20th time, sneering at the reporters and police as he is whisked by:

"You guys got nothin".

Closer to home:

Do you suppose that there's ANY chance that everyone is wrong about the "major announcement" tonight in Kansas City and that, in fact, the "Sporting KC" re-branding is simply the most utterly amazing, well-executed misdirection play in league PR history?

Wouldn't that be great? The ownership and management takes to the podium tonight, collectively grins into the cameras and someone yells "GOTCHA".

Then everyone has a good hearty laugh at how silly it was to believe for one minute that someone had found yet another embarrassing, culturally irrelevant and downright stupid sounding faux-European club name to slap on an MLS team?

Do you suppose that's possible?