Cap Le Toux Now!

Saw three games today. Chelsea-Villa was one of those European games I'm going to point to as proof that MLS isn't THAT bad.

Don't get me wrong, Union-United wasn't beautifully played by any stretch of the imagination. But at least it was energetic and exciting. I guess they wanted to put on a good show for Joe Biden.

Hey, you know who's really horrible this year? DC United. I can only imagine how infuriating it is for them to see Fred, who at best for the last two years was about as consistent as the White Album, look like one of the MLS elite playmakers.

Seattle fans might be annoyed at Sebastien Le Toux turning into freaking Garrincha, but I think they realize that scoring against DC United this year doesn't really count. You know who really appreciated Le Toux's performance? Chris Seitz and Michael Orozco, who were bailed out of jail by Le Toux's third goal. For those of you who didn't see the game, Orozco and Seitz turned 2-0 into 2-2 by a couple of huge mistakes. Orozco assisted on Quaranta's goal, and Seitz dropped the ball at Moreno's feet then fell over obligingly. If those aren't the two worst goals of the year, I fear the ones that are to come.

And, since the Galaxy game was on tape delay, it was time to flee the Internet and enjoy the series of cheap, wonderful sea monster movies on the "Syfy" Channel. Imagine greater? I don't see how that's possible.

After a few delightful hours of terrible CGI, it was time to watch Edson Buddle.

There are two reasons that I thought the Galaxy woudl stink this year. One, I wasn't sure that The Brazilians were an adequate replacement for the aging Lewis, Berhalter, Klein, Kirovski, Kovalenko, and so forth. So far, though, Leonardo has been the final piece of the defense.

And Edson Buddle....

Okay, I'm gonna go there. Jim Watson did before the game, after all, when he asked Buddle how he was reacting to rumors that he was being reconsidered for the national team at the best possible time. Buddle, like myself, had not heard those rumors.

The question went straight to Buddle's head, and, true to form, as soon as Edson started getting compliments again, he fell completely apart...wait, no, he scored a couple of jewels. Perhaps Pat Onstand was cheating to his left on the first goal, but that sure didn't make the angle any easier. And the second goal was just a neat side volley out of nowhere.

Between the goals, Luis Angel Landin took a big lead in the Least Valuable Player race. Yes, Houston fans, I know that Omar Gonzalez has twelve elbows, and he was throwing them all sorts of directions. But (a) it was that kind of game, and (b) Landin kicked Gonzalez's legs out when the ball was out of bounds and ten feet away, right in front of the referee. What did Landin think he was gonna get, the Presidential Medal of Freedom?

The second half was intolerable, because when the Galaxy get complacent they are excruciating to watch. So now we are left with actually considering Buddle for the Nats.

I know. He's had no part of qualifying, he had no part of any remotely important game in the past couple of years, he was hurt last season and his penalty against Salt Lake was a clown's slide-whistle.

And if we were talking about a position besides forward, we'd all laugh off the very idea. But, who the hell else is there?

Davies and Altidore? Sure, they'll be healthy and 100%, we hope. So will Ching. Then who?

Okay, Zach Schilawski. But at least let's have Buddle as an alternate.


And now, from the "imitation is the sincerest form of theft" files....

Out of all the jokes I've ever told, this one is the most worth stealing? Really? Well, at least he was smart enough not to try to draw it out over the season like I did.