Talking Heads: True Stories

(Probably will do a longer bit of primal scream therapy later this week. In the meantime, here are some snippets from my unfinished screenplay, "Well, That Sucked.")
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Guy at Qwest: "Is this the final game for soccer?"

Me: "No, they'll play again next season."

Guy: *suddenly notices that his seat is in another section*
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*Javier Morales leaves the field in tears*

Me: "Oh, man. This isn't how I wanted us to win."
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RSL fans, after Beckham sent another corner kick directly to a crowd of red shirts: "Over-rated!"

Me, chanting back: "Yes, we noticed!"
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My wife, before Landon's kick: "At least Landon won't miss."

Me: "The last time he missed was in a tournament final, after extra time, in a penalty kick shootout."

Landon: *PK attempt flies out of Qwest and into orbit*

My wife: *beats me senseless*
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Next morning. Phone rings. Cell phone ID shows a number about four or five digits too long.

Me: "Hello?"

Guy on phone: "Hi, this is BBC radio. Are you a Galaxy fan? We're looking to talk to a Galaxy fan about how David Beckham turned around their season this year."

Me: "...yeah, you got the wrong guy."