Jack Warner Don't Pay No Stinkin' Taxes

As previously noted, being a Vice President of FIFA is one sweet gig.

Even when you're not being bribed to the eyeballs in return for your World Cup venue vote.

Or when you're making untold millions of dollars on World Cup tickets you grabbed by the thousands (and never paid for) and then bundled with overpriced air fares and hotel rooms and had your wholly owned travel agency peddle them to desperate soccer fans.

Or when your country's federation gets a check from FIFA for $20 million after playing in the World Cup and the money magically vanishes without the players seeing a single dime.

Or getting paid $500 a day whenever you are on the road, plus unlimited expenses paid by FIFA on the honors system: no receipts required.

But the nicest perk of all is that any money FIFA pays you, including your $100,000 a year salary and anything else they can think of to give you money for, goes automatically into an account at a Swiss bank. It is quite literally the only way FIFA will pay you.

Income reporting for tax purposes is left to your discretion. FIFA will neither confirm nor deny that you were paid a cent, and of course Swiss banks are famous for keeping account information strictly secret. The inventors of the numbered bank account tell no tales.

So when someone like Sasha Mohammed, a reporter for the Trinidad & Tobago Express, calls Jack Warner up and asks about why he doesn't seem to be paying taxes on any of this income, he says:

"Sasha Mohammed, I am not well. I don't know you but you are doing Mr Jennings work. Let Mr Jennings ask those questions, don't do Jennings work. Let Jennings ask me and I will answer. And you can put this in your story. I have nothing to answer."

And then hangs up.

Of course, it simply isn't true that Jack will answer Andrew Jennings' questions:

And the topic of World Cup tickets really seems to be a touchy one with Jack:

But then Jack goes into his meeting where, with Jennings locked outside, he demonstrates that apparently Sepp Blatter's "Say No To Racism" concept still has a ways to go:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nW_aJlzN6zM"]YouTube - FIFA vice-president Jack Warner shouts racial abuse[/ame]

So basically, Warner not only gets to pocket. for example, the millions of dollars that was supposed to go to Trinidad & Tobago's players after the 2006 World Cup, but he gets it tax free as well.

Like I said: a sweet, sweet g