Crowning Moment of Awesome

Need to start off with an apology. It turns out my strident recommendation of the Sounders-Reds game turned out about as well as the time I did a Google search for erotica about Snuffy the Pedestrian.*

Anyway, let's talk about a term from TV Tropes called the Crowning Moment of Awesome.

No, this isn't about David Beckham. I hesitate before contradicting Jeff and Bill and everyone else in the world, but that was a pretty goal, and nothing else. Literally nothing else. If there weren't so damn few goals this week that we probably can't get a Goal of the Week slate together, it wouldn't be a nominee.

That's assuming he didn't just get lucky with the bounce off the turf. Let's assume he knew what he was doing. That makes one good touch the entire game. His free kicks were wallbangers, and his passes weren't even as good as Sacha Kljestan's.

In other words, it's just barely possible that the reason the one Beckham play of his MLS regular season so far was able to stand was...the quality of opponent.

I looked up the formula forterminal velocity. WLLLLLWWLL. That's Chivas USA in MLS since June began. (If you want to include Superliga and the Open Cup, go ahead and throw in three more L's and a D.) Those two W's towards the right there? Juan Carlos Osorio's last game as Red Bulls coach, and at home to Toronto.

Lost: one team. White with red stripes. If found, please contact Preki c/o his Monster.com page.

Yeah, I'm happy - my team beat the Enemy. Churchill's line about saying a nice word about the Devil in the House of Commons, etc. But I'm at the point with Chivas USA where cheering for a win against them is like cheering for a home loan approval. It just HAS to happen, it's so vitally important, the alternative is so unbelievably stressful, you don't even want to make plans for that contingency. So when it happens, it's as much of a relief as anything.

(Didn't help that all three CUSA-LA games this year were almost satirically unwatchable. Blooperclasico. Pooperclasico. If they give out a trophy for this one, then the Heritage Cup should come with a Nobel Prize.)

So that's why I don't seem as excited about it - I'm just able to put down my worry beads. I'm just wondering why you as neutrals, casual observers and looky-loos are so excited about the twenty-fifth best goal in Superclasico history. I wish I was like you - easily amused. (Yes, I know the last guy who said that was murdered by Courtney Love.)**

(All right, all right. "Allegedly.")

I guess I should probably plan for paying off my Galaxy playoff bet, although, geez, a team that's starting Magee and Kirovski up top is going to make the playoffs? Maybe the Eurosnobs are right about MLS. Anyway, I'll double the payoff for a Supporter's Shield, and triple it for an MLS Cup. (Least I could do, poor Matrim sitting through the Red Bulls this year.)

Anyway, that wasn't what I wanted to talk about. No, the Crowning Moment of Awesome this week? Arsene Wenger, standing in the pricey seats at Old Trafford.

("This is Wenger's CMOA? Not going unbeaten in 2003-2004?")

Yes. Yes, it is. He upstaged a painful loss, and did it with, in the words of Louisa May Alcott, balls of steel. It was so wonderful, I forgive Wenger for blaming the refs for a loss, a maneuver usually of cosmic feebleness. Blaming refs is what fans do. But hey, Wenger's in the stands, so he's got a right to voice his opinion.

*Already got a first draft of my apology for that joke ready. Just needs a quick proofread, then it's all set for posting.

**No, I don't have an apology drafted for that, why do you ask?