It's my party


An ineligible player! Oh, no! Looks like you'll be missing the World Cup again!


So, yeah, I just had the game spoiled for me at work.

Yes, I know. A real fan would have skipped work. A real fan would have been in Mexico City. A real fan would have blah blah blah, I don't need to hear it.

I was going to sneak out, but I thought the game was at 3:00 MY time, not local time, and....yeah. I got a bad feeling about having emptied out my ignore list.

See, for a while there, I had "spazzo" as an automatic-ban word - I have several of those - but today I thought, "What the hell."

Boy, is that gonna come back to bite me. I mean, I had SUCH a great ignore list. It was, like, the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington, but much funnier. I would while away whole afternoons reading it, and thinking "Heh heh, screw YOU, First Amendment." No more. All because I woke up in a good mood this morning.

Well, I'm going to take a tip from my personal hero, Mao Tse-tung, and let a thousand flowers bloom. Together, we can help build a bigger, better ignore list.

I had all these jokes ready for the US winning. Mexico was officially going to change its name to "Northern Guatemala," MEChA merge with Young Americans for Freedom, and the one guy left at Voz de Aztlan would be yelling "Yeah, well, what about the World Baseball Classic? Dos a uno!"

And even though I was twenty-three times more likely to need jokes in case of a Mexico win, I only had one.

Anyway, here it is.

You know, Kenya has a bunch of guys who can run two hours at high altitude. Think they could throw in a midfielder to go along with our President?

Yeah, well, same to you.