In which I try to see things the Fed's way

Adrian Hanauer isn't happy about the site of the Open Cup Final.

It would be easy to just say "The USSF is idiots", hit Post Now, and wait for the "This is your best blog post EVER!" comments.

But, just for fun, let's try to look at it from the Fed's point of view, if that's possible. Let's start with the DC v. Seattle bid.

Ouch, Olympian reporter.

Well, duh, Adrian, you should have made a better bid - what's that?

Look, maybe the Fed wants to go out of its way to avoid scheduling games on artificial turf. Sorry, the semifinal was played where?

Clearly, then, DC United, through judicious use of kickbacks, bribed the bid committee. Except, if DC United made any money at RFK, they wouldn't be trying to leave. And, well, it isn't like this is Germany hijacking South Africa's 2006 World Cup bid. Bribes imply there's a possibility of profit.

There might have been a secret rule that prevents a site from hosting the MLS Cup and Open Cup finals in the same year. It's not like the USSF to support a rule that would cost them money, though.

So what could it possibly have been?

Oh.

And FSC made the obvious decision.

Wait a minute...TUESDAY AFTER LUNCH! That cosmic time of the week when everything gets done!

(Okay, scroll to page five, past the ads. First panel of the story "100% American Dog." This is, like, mega-ultra-1960's comics, by the way. Pretty sure it's safe for work. If you don't read that panel, this whole joke is ruined, so, yeah.)

VERDICT: Um, can't really get on the Fed's case for this one. Qwest attendance > RFK attendance, but TV audience >> Qwest attendance.

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Okay, the Telemundo debacle.

You're probably going to have to watch the Mexico-US game in August will be broadcast in some Latin dialect.

From the article.

Well, I really don't see how anyone could blame the Fed for

Oh.

There are a couple of different issues here - whether we have the right to watch the game, and whether we have the right to watch the game in English.

I can't get too upset about those who at least have the chance to see the game, even if it is in Spanish. But even if you are an Anglophone diehard, I do hope that people who do have the option to order mun2 resist the temptation. If you give in to this, it will only encourage more stunts like this in the future. As the Manic Street Preachers said, if you tolerate this, your children will be next. Just watch Telemundo (and boycott the sponsors) instead. I can't imagine there's a market that has mun2 that doesn't have Telemundo, so there's really no reason to give in to this.

I feel bad for fans in Columbus and Hawaii, though, because Wikipedia tells me they don't even get real Telemundo. So I think they are boned on this. They have every right to complain to the skies. I don't know if they can put games on NBC over-the-air affiliates for the occasion - wait, yes, I know perfectly well they can, but said affiliates would scream bloody murder. It's been a publicity-rich season for the sport, but soccer isn't going to outdraw Oprah.

It might behoove the Fed in the future to help their official broadcast partners actually broadcast games, but with less than a month to go, I think a swath of the country is stuck with Matchtracker.

VERDICT: Fed's fault, they should have seen this coming. Telemundo has no incentive not to be cretins about this. I dunno what can be done about it, though.

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TOPIC THREE: Back to Open Cup sleaziness on the Fed's part.

The USSF is forcing Josh Hakala to move his website address later this year.

The whole idiotic story is there. Why is it that when the USSF is being penny wise and pound foolish, it's never the foolish being pounded?

Now, for all I know Josh was asking for Barry Zito money from the Fed in order to keep the site going, but more likely the USSF will try to duplicate Josh's efforts - and, equally likely, with the same love and care the Fed usually gives to the US Open Cup. In any case, we'll see who does a better job covering the Open Cup final this year. Hint: it'll be Josh.

VERDICT: Exactly the sort of pointlessly heavy-handed nonsense people hate Soccer House for. Say, how's the US Soccer Supporters Club going?