FATBACK 14: Games People Play But Don't Watch

Wow, did Kenn carry me this week. But Kenn was good. Once we're in stereo, you can pot me down. Seriously, Kenn did a great job getting me up to the level of unlistenable. I'll do better next week.

This week, we talk about the Gold Cup, having learned absolutely nothing about making value judgments on the US team two games into a tournament. We talk about the Open Cup, and how MLS teams need to care about it. We talk about the Superliga, and about how no one needs to care about it. Plus, reactions to Grant Wahl and his charming tale of an Englishman's adventures in the colonies.

We didn't talk about it this week, but Kenn and I have a safety backup topic in case only three things happen in a given week - and that safety topic is, Best Soccer Film Ever! My vote is Shaolin Soccer rules, all the others suck.

At least, that was my vote, until I heard about this from the Riot Squad Boards:

Kicking and Screening - hide the children, a soccer film festival!

Among the films not being shown:
The Big Green
Kicking and Screaming
Air Bud - World Pup

The actual films look really interesting...well, no, to be honest, fans going on a quest to meet their hero is something I feel I've seen a million times. I wasn't interested when it was Drew Barrymore, so why should I when it's Maradona?

But a film about the backroom politics of Barcelona? Sold. A film about the '98 France team, my favorite World Cup team ever? There.

(Well, not literally there. This thing is in New York.)

Also, "Once in a Lifetime."

Plus, tragically, a discussion about David Beckham's adventure in America. I'm sure it will be a movie someday - Grant Wahl's probably auctioning the film rights as we speak - but it's a little sad to see a respectable film festival give into Beckhamania just for the sake of fame and attention.

And by sad, I mean perfect. Alexi Lalas, Adam Spangler, and a professor of sport and society named Dr. Amy Bass. Google was no help in figuring out who Dr. Bass is, because someone by that name is apparently an annoying Internet spammer. I know how she must feel - whenever I Google my name, I see some ********ing annoying soccer blogging douchebag. Anyway, she's the author of a book on the 1968 Olympics and "In the Game: Race, Identity and Sports in the Twentieth Century."

But, who cares, because, ALEXI LALAS bagging on DAVID BECKHAM. And then watching Beckham pretend to care about playing for the Galaxy! Boy, if I weren't planning to hide under my bed that night pretending that David Beckham didn't exist, I'd fly out there. If only to ask him if he really took Donovan's MVP award and gave it to Chris Klein, because, c'mon.