San Jose shakeup; Red Bulls party like it's 1999

What to make of our last place teams?

San Jose shipped out Nick Garcia and Cam Weaver in exchange for Chris Wondolowski and their real target, salary cap space. John Doyle, my VERY FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORLD, wouldn't tell Jeff Carlisle who they were looking at. Understandable, but right now there are way more reasons to go see the Gold Pride than the Earthquakes. To Doyle's credit, he's not blaming Huckerby and Cochrane's absences. There's a realization that the Quakes are underperforming, and so the brain trust is making changes.

Now we can start to talk about whether the decision to acquire Nick Garcia with the #1 overall pick last year was a good one. And no, just because you can't remember the name of last year's overall #1 pick doesn't mean that it was still a good decision. The fair way to evaluate is whether a year and change of Garcia was better than every player picked before Shea Salinas. They could have gotten...

...can we pretend Sean Franklin isn't out for four to six months? Because you know, it still sorta looks like Nick Garcia for a year was a better choice than some of these guys. Well, okay, I think Andy Iro will end up being a productive player. Maybe Brek Shea, too. Other than that...wow, it's a good thing this year's draft class is playing well, because otherwise people would start to think that the NCAA wasn't developing quality players.

Anyway. There's some opinion going around that Nick Garcia was shipped out because he called the Dynamo's Kei Kamara a "mental midget." Ordinarily I'd say, y'know, Zenger defense. I mean, I hesitate to contradict Brian Ching and Brad Davis...but not very long. Kamara is kinda stupid. Don't agree with me? Fine, wait until he gets suspended again, then check back with me.

But when you say something like that about an opponent, you pretty much have to win the game in question and play well, and Garcia forgot to do either of those. Mental midgets who win look smarter than Mensa members who lose, and so Garcia has been exiled.

We'll see what San Jose does with the money. But they are doing something, in contrast to their fellow MLS team not to achieve double digits in points yet.

If New York is making changes, or plans to make siilar changes, they are being very secretive about it. Your defending Western Conference champions are a popular target for skewering at the moment.

Red Bulls fans deserve better. Hell, child pornographers deserve better. If it were up to me, New York would hire back Arena, he'd bring along with him Kovalenko, Magee and...y'know, LA sorta needs Berhalter and Ricketts. And New York doesn't want Buddle back, right? We can keep him, yes?

Okay, okay, Arena was right, the Galaxy have played better in recent weeks. Against terrible, terrible teams, but yes, they are playing much better. I can't remember I saw an eleventh-place team in MLS play so effectively.

I still think he belongs in the East. And the guy who fired him is long gone. So what are the Red Bulls waiting for? Are they worried a change now would affect their Champions League chances?

....actually, how awesome would it be if New York stunk up the league, but won the CONCACAF Champions Cup. This must happen.

Which means it won't. Everything I think must happen? Never does. I was watching Alexi Lalas do "The Sitter," talking about how teams don't want sponsors that will project a bad image. The very second I got my hopes up, reality crashed in. "Sure, Dan. Major League Soccer is going to hire Alexi Lalas to talk about shirt sponsors, have him trash Herbalife, Xango and Amway, and put it up on their own website. And afterwards, you and Peter Griffin can watch Sesame Street waiting for the Count to kill someone and drink their blood."