Let's All Convince Don Garber That We're Stupid

Searching for an underlying theme for today's post, I came across this and figured that it hit exactly the right note:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj-x9ygQEGA"]YouTube - Total Eclipse of the Heart: Literal Video Version[/ame]

I think this level of reality fits in perfectly with the "Let's Annoy the Crap Out of Don Garber and Convince Him That We're All Morons" campaign currently being conducted by the dimwits at "It's Called Football" (I've been thinking of starting a competing program: "This Isn't England, You Putz". Or possibly "Tell That to the Italians", the title being about as intelligent as a US based show titled "It's Called an Elevator" or "They're Called French Fries").

Said campaign, apparently being conducted in partnership with MLSRumors which, I think, pretty much sums it up, is aimed at getting all MLS fans to Twitter Commissioner Garber every Friday in June and demand that he get new referees.

Where, exactly, he's supposed to find said officials remains unexplained. I have to conclude that they believe there is a huge host of really terrific game officials that Garber is refusing to hire because he prefers watching ham-fisted dimwits blow critical calls week after week.

I'll let Ben "All I Need is a Polo Shirt with a Popped Collar to Complete the Fratboy Douchebag Look" Rycroft explain the program:

June 5th - and for every Friday this month - writers, bloggers and MLS fans across North America will write to Commissioner Don Garber to demand a better standard of MLS refereeing...

... log on to Twitter and join us:

@thesoccerdon we want better refereeing in MLS now - hold our refs publicly accountable for the calls they make #mls #refs .

Now let's suppose for a second that you're Don Garber and you see these Twits.

And you also see the messages they sent you.

What do you suppose your reaction is?

a) Slap yourself on the forehead, and say "Holy Cow! Get better refs! What an idea!"

b) Say "Uh oh; they DEMAND better refs. I guess that means they're serious!"

c) Dial up USSF and order them to fire all the referees immediately. (What you do when they refuse is another issue)

d) Realize that if MLS fans are this retarded that the league doesn't stand a chance, and write up a resignation letter.

(As an aside, it's a real shame that, as far as I can tell, Mssrs. Knight, Rycroft and Rollins have not signed up to take the licensing classes and thereby favor us with their on-field wisdom, judgment and expertise. Why would that be, I wonder?)

Now in fact, if I didn't think it would create another flood of "Bill Archer is a big old poopiehead, eh?" correspondence I'd mention that if they're so much better up there north of the border they should send us really marvelous Canadian referees to replace the ones USSF provides.

Conversely, I'd suggest that if they feel the caliber of referees the United States Soccer Federation provides for the United States of America's Division One Professional Soccer league is not up to their standards they should leave MLS and form their own league.

Just a thought.

An integral part of this effort is the fantasy that Don Garber hires, trains or supervises USSF officials when, in reality, he does none of these things. You might as well bug David Stern about it.

I also feel I should point out that - contrary to the part about "holding refs publicly accountable" - every week the USSF posts a VERY public review of referee performance. Perhaps the "It's Called Whining" crew would like to familiarize themselves with it.

HERE'S THIS WEEK'S EDITION wherein, among other things, they "publicly" state that the officiating team blew that late PK call in the DC/New England match.

(See: "Video Clip 2" which says, in part, Using the criteria outlined in this section, the AR calls a foul that leads to a penalty kick that should not be called..)

The previous week's edition POINTS TO AN INCORRECT OFFSIDE CALL.

Apparently the internet is not "public" enough for some people.

The only solution mentioned is the old "Bring in foreign referees to teach the US's guys how to call games" canard, something they are sure MLS knows would solve the problem but refuse to do "because of the recession".

Frankly, I think MLS doesn't do it because it won't solve anything. These guys have had as much as 20 years of training, including testing and evaluation by FIFA itself, and some of them study and work full time at it but somehow a good stiff talking to from some English mope will magically solve all the problems.

They should change the name of the show to "It's Called Hallucination".

In any case, while I take a back seat to no one in my frustration with the state of MLS officiating (and two guys in particular), demonstrating to the Commissioner that MLS fans believe there's a quick fix out there - or that we think he is the one who is in charge of solving it - is a good way to convince the man that we're all imbeciles.

It's just a pointless temper tantrum, a publicity stunt that accomplishes nothing but boost the egos of the self-promoting fools behind it.