Lingerie, Joey Saputo and Canadian Heroes

CNBC has an interesting post by their "Sports Business Reporter" regarding the proposed "Lingerie Football League" which, while it's certainly worth noting for those among you who have an interest in seeing comely young ladies smashing into each other while wearing their unmentionables - and let he who is without sin among us cast the first stone - there really wouldn't be much of an excuse to mention it on BigSoccer except for this:

THE WRITER SAYS THAT AMONG THE POTENTIAL OWNERS are two MLS team investor/operators.

I'm guessing it's safe to assume that Dave Checketts isn't going to try to put semi-naked female entertainment into Rio Tinto anytime soon; in fact, that may be one of the signs of the Apocalypse.

It's not really down Clark Hunt or Phil Anschutz' alleys either, while Victor McFarlane has his hands full figuring out the DCU problem without adding a bunch of semi-clad bints to his stable. Toronto is a little cold for lingerie prancing much of the year, although that could be considered a plus, at least by the spectators.

Conversely, I'd guess the Energy Drink Austrians would slap their logo on every chav and slapper from here to Prague if it would move more product, and Drew Carey could fall back on his Price is Right experience in dealing with bubbleheaded models. And I bet Houston could use it as a bargaining chip to get that stadium built; the politicians who don't care much about soccer must at least have an interest in T&A.

Of course they can't say the same thing in Portland, where the Mayor is still trying to explain his dalliances with a buff young intern, and I doubt if Billy Beane in San Jose has any logarithms lying around that show you how to identify linebackers who'd look good in a teddy.

They ought to give Joey Saputo a call, although they should be forewarned: he'll probably ask for a discount on the franchise fee.

Speaking of our Pal Joey, JACK BELL PASSES ALONG SOME INFO explaining that Saputo fils has gotten over the pain and humiliation of being unceremoniously shown the door last October.

All is forgiven in Joeyland, and he wants everyone to know that he hopped on a bus and spent the day in New York, talking to the same MLS executives that he was publicly attacking just six months ago.

Reading between the lines, however, leaves one less enthused about his immediate prospects.

First of all, Joey is still maintaining that he can bring his Impact side straight into MLS - for the same $35 million he previously laughed off - without adding players or needing an expansion draft, a proposition which is, quite frankly, ridiculous. It appears that The Don tried to tell him this - see: "one of the issues they have is bringing in four teams in...two years" - but he wasn't hearing him.

It also emphasizes once again that he has never accepted that 2011 is a done deal. The league said they were adding two teams, they took bids, they picked two teams and that's a done deal.

Except for Joey, who acts like none of that ever happened and continues to tell reporters that the Impact will be coming into MLS along with Portland and Vancouver.

Dan Courtemanche emphasized the extent of Joey's excursion into Fantasy land - first on display when he announced that Garber thinks Stade Saputo is far superior to BMO, a laughable contention at best - .when he told Bell that "the $35 million expansion fee Saputo mentioned was not accurate and that, although M.L.S. viewed the meeting as positive, it did not discuss a specific timetable for Montreal."

So basically, Joey Saputo went to New York and met with Garber and Abbott - which they'd do with anyone from any city interested in a team, from Topeka to Kalamazoo - and he's now spinning it as something that it wasn't.

Somebody should check Joey's meds.

Like a goodly number of you, I've long been a huge fan of Tony DiCicco's coaching abilities. (As I've previously mentioned I have a very personal bone to pick with the guy and would mostly like to smack him in the mouth, but professionally he's first rate)

The guy knows what he's talking about and so when he says something like he did after his Boston Breakers got a draw on Sunday with the Washington Freedom, you know it's not coming from some flake like John Carver:

“The only part of the game that wasn’t up to the level was the refereeing, which is getting scary now.

It’s just not good enough and they are over their heads.

“They have to learn just like the players have to learn to play at this level. It becomes a safety concern and these games are going to get more intense. They are going to have more hitting and more combative play and the refereeing has to get better.”

This is a guy who's been coaching women at the very top level in the US for twenty years, and if he says the officials aren't keeping up, somebody at Soccer House ought to pay attention.

Apropos of not much, I've watched a few WPS matches, though I'm by no means an aficionado, but I do have a comment for what it's worth:

I saw a goodly number of WUSA matches, and I didn't expect WPS to be at that level. And the games I've seen haven't been.

They've been better.

WPS seems to be far more technical, far less dependent on sheer athleticism and all in all an entirely enjoyable soccer experience.

That's not to say it hasn't had it's rocky moments; the lack of familiarity is clearly hindering play to a greater or lesser extent.

Nevertheless, maybe I've just been lucky, or maybe my memory of WUSA is clouding over - it's been several years after all - but it seems to me that these girls are playing a much more sophisticated brand of soccer than their elders ever managed.

OK, go ahead: tell me I'm crazy. God knows it won't be the first time.

Finally, I know the good citizens of Toronto aren't likely to notice, mostly because the psychotic delusions they have about things they fervently believe that said but really didn't crowd out the things I really did say, but for the record I'd like to point out that there is no question whatever that my two major bones of contention have been verified, in spades:

The first was of course my observation that John Carver is a jerk. They wasted more spittle and bile on me for one that than the Daily Kos ever did on George W. Bush.

Yet what does everyone now admit is absolutely true? Well, modesty forbids.

And over the weekend, none other than Canadian superstar Dwayne DeRosario had this to say regarding the plastic grass at BMO:

"THE TURFS GOTTA GO! I'M SICK OF IT!"

I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for them to declare Bill Archer Day in Toronto, but maybe one of their fine Canadian Ballet performers could say a few kind words.