There's a monster at the end of this post

You've, uh, you've probably seen the Southsiders video in Bill's last post via TOR. I mean, The Offside Rules, not Toronto or Tor Johnson.

Um, I too have held up a doll on local television. Mine was an uber-cool Striker World Cup USA 1994 doll, and was thus totally awesome and cool and sweet and not stupid at all. But tiny, shallow minds might judge me. Me and my cool doll.

Which brings me to my point. Your fan group would suck just as hard and just as comprehensively in that setting as those guys. Guaran-FREAKING-tee. No matter how cool your group is. And you know what? Odds are I've seen your group, I like them and I think they rock. IN THEIR SETTING.

Said setting is not first thing in the morning represented by the first three people who can get time off work. Can three people jive and wail a soccer chant? Maybe. If they're professional singers or actors. I know I could - provided the other two people were Maria Callas and Banshee from the X-Men.

Why am I telling you this?

Because me and Striker got away easy. Because it could be you next time. And don't give me "I'm not gonna bring no freaking Muppet on live TV." When that red light goes on, and instead of cheering for your team as comes naturally, you have to fake it for a bunch of uncomprehending civilians, while freaking television lights are blasting your optic nerves - maybe what you'll need is the comfort of a childhood friend.

And if it is you next time, and you've learned from the mistakes of those who came before you, and your community gets a load of you and says "Wow! I want to spend alternate Saturdays standing next to that guy!" or the functional equivalent - remember those who gave their dignity to make it possible. There but for the wrath of Satan goes you.