You know what really grinds my gears....

Hm, a blog post called "The Famine Song". I wonder what the lyrics are. Well, that's why God invented Google....


I mean, I got a rough sense of humor myself, don't get me wrong. Me and Scott Peterson, we go way back.

But man! Wikipedia tells me some Rangers fan was nabbed for disturbing the peace for singing it against Kilmarnock, for crying out loud.

Now, I wouldn't picture myself singing an equivalent song to, say, Mexico supporters, because I have an allergy to having my face kicked in. But I'm literally the last guy in the world to tell you to stop singing something. If you think a song is funny, and you're willing to accept the consequences, then stand up for it. Maybe I'd back off once it landed me in court, but, if that's how you guys roll, then own it.

But don't pretend it's not supposed to be offensive. C'mon.

(Oh, and one of the lines of the song is "They've all their papists in Rome," which doesn't really answer to "a song that contains no swearing, names no players their wives or mothers or their untimely deaths, mentions no other club, official or even alludes to religion". However, I'm only gleaning that from an Internet version which leaves room for an "Instrumental." They have instrumental breaks in Ibrox chants? That's out there, man. So maybe they don't sing that part.)

I do have a solution for all this, though - plow under the Old Firm, salt the earth, and make Partick Thistle Glasgow's team.

But you know what my new favorite team in the world is right now? Manchester City.

(Good segue, Dan. Very elegant. Thank you.)

It's bad enough when fans and pundits, their eyes bedewed with misty-eyed romantic nostalgia for a past fantasy that even Fred Flintstone would call unrealistic, rend their garments at the idea of a football club paying for players. Players and coaches should know infinitely better.

Standing ovation to Mark Hughes for telling them where to stick it.

People who follow the PDL or the Arthurian League or, god help us, NCAA soccer at least walk this talk. But here in the real world, money vs. football came to a truce back in 1888. To paraphrase Churchill, we're just negotiating. If money was going to kill the sport, the corpse stopped stinking back when the Germans were still in Tanganyika.

I suppose it's possible that people think a certain amount of money is okay, but not TOO much. It would actually be refreshing to read something along the lines that football had died when the maximum wage was abolished. Apparently M. Platini holds this opinion, or something like it. That's at least a little more sensible than decrying, in the Year of Our Lord 2009, the evils of financial compensation in the sport. Unless I'm badly mistaken, salary caps usually require the consent of the players, so, lots of luck with that. I don't remember Platini playing for free, either, but my memory's not what it used to be.

Yes, it would be wonderful if all teams were run as cooperatives like Barcelona or the Green Bay Packers or FC Manchester or Ebbsfleet United (er, um, uh oh). (Or, come to think of it, like Chivas used to be. Was there any follow-up on busting Vergara for breaking those laws? Probably not.) Since Barcelona and Green Bay are both able and willing to pay screw-you money to its employees (and risking the soul of their sport by doing so, right?), I suppose our hope is that FC Manchester will rocket up the pyramid and finally give Manchester soccer fans something to cheer for.

The Premiership and the Champions League are both unapologetic money-grabs, so the idea of defending the soul of those institutions is on beyond ridiculous. It's practically riphallusulous. The Premiership and the Champions League don't simply invite phenomena like Chelsea and Man City, they flat-out require it. Taking out frustrations on a club that struck it rich yesterday instead of last week is like the Beverly Hillbillies putting on airs.

EDIT - Oh, and great, Copenhagen ended up tying City. Now there will be false hope everywhere. Please crush them in the return leg, City.