Dave's not here, man

Maybe I should cool it on trashing our soccer press. It could be worse - they could be our entertainment press.

Du Nord sees everything, including an E!Online report about Beckham in trouble with the law:

If you do read the E! article, scroll down and enjoy the comments. Particularly #17, who points out that Beckham has a hell of an alibi. Fulfilling the fervent requests of MLS fans everywhere, the Galaxy all jumped off a tall bridge:

Hm, it's not like the Sun to get things wrong, but there does seem to be corroborating evidence. Note that justjared.buzznet.com, whatever the hell that is, managed to glean that this was a team-wide exercise, while the New York Post wondered if Beckham would be in trouble for violating his contract. And Jared's commenters are, if anything, even more excitable than E!Online's. Click and enjoy.

The official Beckham response?

You too, Dave!

Well, I hope you all found this incredibly fascinating. Wait, how did this gun barrel get in my mouth?