The Soccer Hall of Fame has sent out its 2009 ballot, at a time when the nation is royally sick of anything to do with elections of any kind. In the words of the late, legendary Michael O'Donoghue, voting after the election is like looking at pictures of naked women after an orgasm. (You, the reader, may adjust the gender of the nudes per your orientation.)
Would you like to read someone lying about the ballot? Sure you would!
The list is here.
Wait, no, I'm sorry...it's actually here.
I was confused, you see...because it's the same ballot, minus Roy Wegerle and the players from last year who got so few votes they weren't carried over. (Vaya con Dios, Mark "Best XI" Chung.) Yes, this ballot is so impressive, it's having an encore. This time, someone's going to get in, though.
The theory is, the induction ceremony is the peak of the Hall's year, so if nobody gets in, that's a significant financial kick to the chin. So it's better to dilute the Hall's standards - there's no kinder way of putting it - than to write off the biggest day of the year.
The Hall is also extremely unlucky that a bunch of very high-profile players timed their retirements awkwardly, or put them off ill-advisedly. Tony Meola, God bless him, is still screwing around playing Calvinball. Cobi Jones stayed another year to make the playoffs...then stayed another year to make the playoffs. Brandi Chastain, God bless her, will apparently play anywhere, anytime. David Beckham has yet to meet any of the minimum eligibility requirements, and it's beginning to look like he never will. (Unless he goes in as a Builder, and now that I think about it that's not a bad idea at all.)
Fortunately for the Hall's standards, Joy Fawcett has been wronged by the voters rather than the requirements, so sometime between her induction and the next round of voting, the standards can be restringefied (not an actual word). The announcement is scheduled for the NSCAA in St. Louis in January, in between the seminars on "Bitching About The Referee Who's Unreasonably Biased Against Your Team - Leadership Secrets of Jason Kreis" and "Playing One Forward Against Four Huge Freaking Defenders, Signing A Designated Player Who Keeps A Six Month Time-Share On The Disabled List, and Thinking AEG Will Give You Autonomy In Player Decisions - Destroying Your Legacy The Bruce Arena Way."
Who will join Fawcett? Like a sock, I'm darned if I know. There are strong arguments against everyone - strong enough that "None of the Above" was officially enrolled as one of our all-time stars last year. Agoos has that unfortunate stain on his resume otherwise known as his national team career. Stewart and Preki are apparently too foreign. Valderrama, Etcheverry, Cienfuegos and Nowak are apparently way too foreign. Robin Fraser is going to be unjustly ignored by fools who refuse to recognize his genius. MacMillan was hurt all the time. Moore didn't do a thing in his World Cups. John Doyle sucked. So did Roy Lassiter.
I voted for the same guys I did last year. I'm guessing I'll vote for the same guys next year, too, and expect things to change. So this is what Libertarians feel like.