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I'm going on vacation later this week - no, please. Hold your ****ing applause - so I'm going to be trying to cover a lot in a little time this week.

First, lamentably, I'm probably not going to get the details of the Beakman to Atalanta move before you do. The Galaxy had a season ticket holder BBQ - which I skipped, because it sounded a little too much like "To Serve Man," if you get my drift - and apparently, Tim Leiweke has ceded all player personnel decisions to Bruce Arena, except for those regarding Donovan and Beckham. That's like, you can be your own country, except you don't get to decide foreign policy or taxation. AEG really does run the Galaxy on the Zaphod Beeblebrox model.

Here's what is best for the Galaxy, in descending order:

1. Beckham trains with AC Milan, doesn't play real games.

By far the best option. Dave's in his 30's, and spent all of 2007 fighting injuries. He's been flown all over the world constantly, and yes, the Galaxy plan to do it to him some more in the offseason (well, as if they could make Beckham do anything he didn't want to). I'd rather see him train in Italy than screw around with antipodean barbarians.

2. Beckham, AC and AEG finagle a short term loan that gets Dave back in LA for Opening Day in March.

Really, this only backfires if some young defender in Italy decides he wants a shot at immortality. Gulp. The crucial thing here is, Opening Day. This is probably the last really acceptable option for the Galaxy.

3. AC pays AEG/MLS a transfer fee.

And not a little one, either. Enough to build another Home Depot Center. The equivalent of another couple of expansion fees. The bad publicity of this has to be balanced out by sweet, delicious money...especially with the worldwide economy hitting the turf like it was tackled by Serioux.

4. FIFA or AC forces LA into a six month loan, Beckham wanders back in midseason.

In the words of R.J. Squirrel, that trick never works. The Galaxy embarrassed itself with Campos, Hermosillo and Hernandez trying to accommodate another team, and the good option is that the player shows up in June out of gas and fighting injury. Wait, that's exactly how Beckham joined MLS to begin with. The Galaxy would write off several months on the field and, worse, at the gate. Season ticket renewals will plummet only slightly worse than walk-ups. Since the schedule would be front-loaded with home games, LA would spend the crucial part of the season on yet more airplanes, losing more ground in the standings, missing the playoffs yet again. Assuming Beckham even makes it that far, as a schedule like this would certainly end up turning his ankle into Feta cheese, ending his ridiculously overextended England dreams.

If LA is forced into this, well, it's gonna take a couple more All-Star Game wins over Fulham or West Ham to quiet the screams of "Mickey Mouse league!", to say the least.

Anyway, there will probably be some compromise, maybe one that invalidates the rants that Grahame Jones and Jaime Trecker and Ives Galarcep have given us so far. This is why they're bigger writers than I am. It was much more interesting reading those guys jump to conclusions than listening to me say "Meh, let's see what happens." There is nothing more satisfying to the heart of the American soccer fan than to be able to say "Dump Beckham, we don't need him!" You'd think if I could leave Sacha Kljestan off my MLS Best XI with a straight face, I could get away with a premature Beckulation.

What next - playoff games. Oh, and my local WPS team has a terrible name and logo. Whee!