Sometimes you're the hillbilly, sometimes you're Ned Beatty

You can't make money picking favorites. The payoff is too small. What you need to do, if you're going to make money betting on sports, is reliably and consistently find the underdogs that can win, then go for it. That's how you make the big bucks.

I tell you this simply to pass the time. This has nothing to do with the Houston-New York series, which will end horribly for the Red Bulls.

Yeah, I thought about picking New York. If they lost, hey, comedy blogger. If they won, I'm the smartest man in the sport, and I would never, ever shut up about it. While I'm at it, I could also go to Sushi Nozawa and order Spaghetti-O's. There's more to life than cheap laughs.

New York has produced some amusingly positive results against Houston this year - it was those results, in fact, that led me to my 5th in the East wins MLS Cup theory. I would like to abandon said theory, even if I have to drive to Nebraska to do it. I didn't expect the Bread Rolls to moonwalk into the playoffs after the laughable performances they've given us the past couple of weeks, but that doesn't mean I have to take them seriously now that they did. There's just no portion of the field where New York has the advantage here, except MAYBE if Angel hits high gear. But who prevents the Dynamo from just putting three guys on him? Van Den Bergh?

The Red Bulls have been blessed by God Himself to get to the playoffs, but God Himself also has a Dynamo scarf somewhere in the drawer. During the current dynasty which oppresses us, the Dynamo have won the division title exactly oh wait this is the first time they've done it. Last year, they fell flat on their faces against Dallas for a game and a half, and if FC had finished the job it would have changed the course of soccer in Texas. And oh yeah, their actual MLS Cups against New England weren't exactly coronations. You make your own luck, sure - and Houston makes it by the hogshead.

All of this will weigh more in the next round against Salt Lake, of course. Zombie Red Bull is one of Army of Darkness' fake Shemps.