Where Did It All Go Wrong 2 - Breaking Training


Featuring the hit single "I Was Wrong"

So, yeah, guess Salt Lake and New York did make the playoffs. Let us praise the dead before we bury the survivors.

DC UNITED
At first I typed "DC UNTIED," then nearly left it, then decided the joke was too cheap.

Okay, yeah, going from Supporters Shield to missing the playoffs looks pretty bad. It's easy to focus on dumping Christian Gomez for Marcelo Gallardo, except Gomez didn't make the playoffs, either. The real flop was in failing to replace Troy Perkins. I can't even be bothered to look up the name of the international player who lost his spot to Zach Wells. People who lose their spots to Zach Wells are best forgotten. As for Wells - hey, I thought his time had come. Long-time backup finally getting a starting chance after patiently waiting for Pat Onstad to age - people were really high on this kid. Oops.

Actually, the other real flop was that not only were none of the new players particularly good, all of the old ones turned bad. Luciano Emilio disappeared, Jaime Moreno finally got old, and one of the things that might get Soehn fired was starting Fred over Khumalo yesterday. Not sure where Kasper goes with this team, though, apart from hoping that Santino Quaranta finally becomes the star he was supposed to be seven years ago.

Also, this doesn't do much for the prestige of the Open Cup. Just saying.

COLORADO
Fire everyone and start over.

Even by Old Testament standards, this has to be the worst year in Rapids history. Disappointment after disappointment, capped off with handing a playoff spot to those SOB's one state over in the last minute. The Rapids website asks "Do you bleed burgundy?" I assume we know today, what with all the Colorado fans opening their veins this morning.

The big problem was Christian Gomez, of course. But there were others. No sooner do the Rapids get rid of dead weight than they add others. It's galling to see Herculez immediately establish himself in Kansas City, but probably more galling to see guys like Ballouchy and Burciaga - players who were supposed to be hitting their stride - completely fail to make an impact. If Conor Casey hadn't completely exceeded expectations - like, putting his shirt on right-side out - this team would have been a nationwide laughingstock, instead of simply a regional one.

There's a little bit of hope now that the Clavijo tyranny has been overthrown, but it's going to take a year or two to make this team into something acceptable. Lose Gomez, give up on Ballouchy, thank Cooke for his years of fine service, get something worthwhile for Conor Casey before he turns back into Conor Casey, and hope Omar Cummings doesn't get sick of losing before you can build a team around him. It's a weak division, though, and the uniforms still look good.

Oh, and you've probably already realized this, but maybe remember how to win at home.