I'd normally save this for my next omnibus Sepp Blatter screed, but it's just too good:
Yesterday, our hero, Sepp "Leaky" Blatter was out for a cruise in his $200,000 Mercedes SL 63 (naturally aspirated 6.2-liter V8 with 518 hp and 465 lb-ft., 7,200 RPM redline and a 7-speed multi-clutch transmission (MCT) with four possible shift modes and a double-clutching function) when, emerging from a tunnel as he was passing some guy, rammed a VW Golf in the oncoming lane.
The Golf flipped over, the driver is injured although nobody is saying how badly, but thankfully Hans Klaus, FIFA's communications director, says that the uninjured "Mr. Blatter is well and working.''
Well that's certainly a relief.
In news that we might actually care about, it seems that - here's a surprise - all that money South Africa is borrowing to get those stadiums and stuff built - IS GETTING A BIT WORRISOME given the global credit crunch.
The latest cash injection is US$123 million, much of which will go to building an internet connectivity network between the venues.
Good thinking. Any country with 40% unemployment, an AIDS epidemic and chronic shortages of electricity, potable water and housing definitely needs to put stadium internet connectivity high up on their list of priorities.
And this is of course separate from the money the local venues are busy borroing to finish their particular stadium projects. For example CAPETOWN IS NOW R580,000,000 IN THE HOLE but not to worry: they figre they can make it back selling stadium naming rights after the World Cup is over.
I wish them luck.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Sepp and the boys are getting ready to work out A THREE YEAR BRIBE-A-PALOOZA - excuse me, a "study process", which will eventually result in the World Cup going to the highest bidder - damn, I mean the best candidate.
This is their favorite part of being in charge. 24 guys spend months and months on "fact finding" and "venue inspection" and "listening to presentations", zooming from country to country in private planes and being treated to the best of everything wherever they land.
Three years of it. After which they'll pick whoever Sepp tells them to pick.
Moving from comedy to - well it's hard to say what, exactly, but on the heels of Argentina's disappointing qualifying results thus far, Laurie at WORLDCUP2010BLOG passes along the tip that help is on the way:
Diego Maradona wants to coach the team.
So many lines, so little time.