The Goal That Lauched 100,000 YouTube Hits

Your grandchildren will be seeing this clip in those blooper compilations:

And by that time, you'll clearly remember being there on a date with Jordana Brewster.

It'll become sort of like that fashion shoot photo of Landon Donovan looking like the Queen of the Gay Pride Parade: just when you think you've seen the last of it, some imbecile will post it someplace with a "Hey, look at this! ROTFLMAO!"

Of course, Gruenebaum, AKA "The Hebrew Hammer", won't have a lot of career highlights anyway, but he'll always have this. On the "All Things Considered, I'd Just As Soon Remain Anonymous" scale, it's below Ralph Branca but it's still well above Bartman.

It has to be said though that this goal was around 90% due to the artificial turf. Gruenebaum was looking for a grass bounce, not a New York sidewalk bounce. It was a very routine keeper-to-keeper free kick, a stupid waste of possession from his opposite number until the plastic pitch turned it into an ESPN highlight.

All of which will be cold comfort when the kid stumbling across it is Greunebaum's grandson.

Spend any random five minutes in any BigSoccer forum and you're pretty much guaranteed to read some schmuck complaining about how MLS needs relegation in order to make the end-of-season, bottom-of-the-table games "interesting" or "meaningful" or "dramatic".

Leaving for another time the patent fact that promotion/relegation will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever (have I made the point yet?) happen in MLS, last night two teams at the very bottom of the table played a match with everything on the line, and the result was as thrilling and dramatic as any of those apparently scintillating Wigan-WBA games some people seem to pine for.

San Jose and KC played a back-and-forth game which saw KC go up 1-0. SJ tie at 1-1, KC go back on top 2-1, SJ come back again to tie a 2-2 and finished off by a 93rd minute Herculez Gomez goal off a Cludio Lopez cornerthat put the Wizards back in the thick of playoff contention and wrote finis to the Quakes remarkable summer.

For some reason there's no Quickkicks clip up, but CHECK OUT THE HIGHLIGHTS HERE

Sure, this time of year brings with it some odd results. Sigi sends out his U17's, New England and Chicago seem to agree that since they're going to be playing each other nobody cares, it's just the nature of the beast.

Which brings us to the LA Galaxy, a team which, mercifully, Bruce Arena is getting ready to take an axe to starting in about ten days.

A bunch of guys playing for their jobs against a Houston side more interested in staying healthy than putting up numbers really shouldn't stink the place up this badly.

In fairness, they looked somewhat interested in giving this soccer thing something of a shot until a 13th minute Bryan Jordan own goal:

Whereupon the Gals sagged like a bawdy house mattress and coughed up two goals in the next 9 minutes.

The end of the season can't come soon enough for this bunch.

Another thing the "We Need Relegation for End-of-Season excitement" crowd might consider is that while there may be less to play for if you're in the MLS cellar, conversely the teams in the middle of the table are playing for all the marbles.

In the Premiership, the real boredom is among the several teams who have no chance for Europe but who aren't in range of the drop zone either.

(In fact, since everyone knew from Match Day 1 that they weren't going to Europe and they weren't as putrid as four or five other sides, they essentially play an entire season for pretty much nothing at all. Thrilling, that.)

In MLS, instead of treading water for 30 games and then heading home, middle-of-the-pack teams find themselves in a dogfight to make the playoffs.

And if I had to pick between watching crappy teams bitchslap each other to keep from dropping a weight class and watching the same number of teams actually fighting for a shot at the Cup, I'll take the latter, thanks.

Which brings us to Dallas at The Stormin Mormons last night, two teams going head-to-head for what appears to be only one playoff slot.

Unfortunately, the result - a 3-1 RSL win which really puts the hurt on The Hoops, was less artistic Tour de force and more Steel Cage match.

The fouls, cards and mouth flapping was as bad as any I've seen this season.

The Dumbass of the Day award goes to Marcelo Saragosa, who cleverly managed to get two cheap yellows within 9 minutes and was gone by the 30th, leaving his fighting-for-their-lives teammates to play a man down for 2/3 of the game.

And my esteemed colleague Danny the L was undoubtedly pleased to see that the "We're Serious This Time, No Rushing the Ref and Yelling at Him After Every Card" rule that MLS insists they're enforcing with great vigor is having no effect whatever:

So OK, while this one had a ton of "drama" it was fairly short on "soccer", but at least both teams knew what they were out there for.