TNF: The Road to Rio

The judges will also accept "Rio Bravo," "Blame it on Rio" and Duran Duran references.

Happy Yom Kippur, everyone!* Extremely important match, so what if it is only important because the MLS playoffs are easier to get into than that mail order art school that has you draw the bear.** It's still important. Check out this potential fifty-five percentage point swing on the line tonight. Of course, by that site's logic, the smart move for both teams would be to play to a draw. So don't tell them. (And by that site's logic, a Royals win is better for the San Jose Earthquakes than a Red Bulls win. I keep referencing Sports Club Stats, but I almost never agree with it.)

Even though New York looks like they've been spiking their Red Bull with either vodka or Clorox 2, they're still solid favorites to make the playoffs. For that they can thank DC United more than any of their own efforts. Oh, before I forget...after further review, Gabriel Cichero sucks. He's joining Rojas and Alejandro Moreno in Venestan, though, so New York will start someone not as good as Cichero.

Salt Lake, meanwhile, followed up the incredibly stupid decision to choke at home to CUSA with the incredibly smart decision to win in San Jose. Salt Lake has never beaten New York - one of those odd statistical anomalies that MLS gives us now and again.

So, the Royals are playing better, they're at home, and the law of averages is seriously on their side. How can they screw it up? Well, short of some idiot giving the Red Bulls bulletin board material - oh, thanks, Dema.

I suppose Kovalenko's unhappy because he worked very hard to get back into the lineup under Bruce Arena after a nearly fatal car accident:

So he's understandably unhappy that Osorio took that away from him.

On the other hand, he's Dema Kovalenko, so the hell with him.

...Bruce Arena's going to bring the miserable snipe (anagram) to the Galaxy, I just know it....

Oh, tonight's game. Well, the last team New York beat was actually Salt Lake...since then, the Navy, White and Red have been playing some really, really terrible soccer. And...it ain't like Osorio's such a genius, however much Dema's non-endorsement impresses me. Royals, 3-1.

*The people who would get this joke are offended by it, and the ones who wouldn't be offended by it don't get it. Obviously, it's my favorite joke ever.

**This might have been an effective joke, except if I used the name of the actual correspondence art school, no one would recognize it.