Okay, there are lots of ticky-tack little errors in this USA Today Jorge Vergara article.
I'm not exactly Champollion, but I was under the impression that "Sacred Flock" was a better translation. I hadn't heard that Chivas was gender-specific, what with Babelfish routinely turning "Chivas" into "Kids", but who am I to argue?
And yeah, so the powder salesman tends to say things that are, shall we say, off the cuff.
Nevertheless, this quote fairly jumps from the page, even from the bottom of the page:
In the words of Baby Jessica - well, well, well.
(1) I've long suspected that for the past couple of years, at the very least, Chivas USA was simply another of those 2,500 licenses that Vergara has handed out. Something about what Vergara said when Shawn Hunter was brought in that stuck with me...oh, wait, he blew off that announcement.
(2) Vergara is going to re-introduce the Team America concept to MLS, over what I presume would be the horrified objections of Hunter and Cue. Good luck marketing a team in Los Angeles on the basis of "We're all citizens!" Might as well change the name to "Minutemen."
(3) Vergara is going back to one of the original concepts of Chivas USA, a team made up entirely of Mexican-Americans. Party like it's 2005!
(4) Vergara is going to wash his hands of MLS, and Chivas USA will take its rightful place in the annals of marketing failures.
(5) Vergara is going to move the team to a city where an All-American lineup would be received better than, say, a team of convicted child molestors. St. Louis is familiar with taking Los Angeles sporting castoffs. But then, we run back into the whole Team America thing. The St. Louis Americans would be popular, and terrible.
(6) Reporter Chris Hawley bungled the quotation, or the translation, or both.
(7) By the way...Chivas China exists? I know Saprissa exists, to the sadness of DC United's depleted lineup, but FIFA and Google give me nothing since an announcement back in 2007. Are they playing exhibitions against Cleveland's MLS team?
I'm surprised that there was no mention of Vergara's newest, and most controversial, brand expansion. There are reports that he will start a team in the West Bank, over the objectiosn of both Israeli and Palestinian governments, and it will be called...Chivas of Nazareth. They'll be called the Holy Goats. Have I told that joke before? I'm sure I told this joke.