Not So Fast, Bruce

Say what you will about MLS but this season has been about as entertaining as the Britney Spears - Tia Tequila Trailer Park slapping match that will surely pop up on Cops any month now.

Hot on the heels of the "Bruce Arena to Los Angeles" rumors, where the headlines are reading "Arena Tipped to Take Over Galaxy" but the meat of the article is always full of non-comments, evasions and "have a nice day", comes this juicy nugget courtesy of The Star:


Yes, it appears that "the fans" in LA have risen up as one (first time for everything, right?) and are demanding that DBecks take over as Player-Coach of the Galaxy.

(Now before I am inundated with an avalanche of "Silly American, The Daily Star is about as reliable as the National Enquirer" let me just say two words: John Edwards)

So before il Bruce rings up some well-tanned West Coast Real Estate weasel and starts scheduling tours of RELEVANT LA AREA HOMES based on his projected AEG salary, he might want to reconsider how much golf is really enough.

Meanwhile, one really has to wonder what the problem is with Sensei Preki.

In his first game back after serving a two game suspension, he raced out onto the field and ATTACKED PETER VAGENAS for reasons which no one can quite explain.

Perhaps they need to adjust the guy's meds or something, because he's clearly not dealing well with the pressure. Being in charge of a team that's tanking as badly as Seedy Chivas is will do that, I suppose, but even so.

Now of course in some professional leagues the Commissioner might well look into a situation like this but unfortunately for MLS, our own Donny the G - along with every other expense account sucking soccer official on the planet - has taken two weeks off for A SOJOURN TO CHINA where, in between enjoying the badminton and touring the Great Wall he took time to wax poetic about how splendidly a totalitarian government can "organize" stuff.

Yeah Don, and the trains run on time, too.

Some people might think it odd that Don scheduled an extended family vacation smack in the middle of the MLS season, but I myself am certainly not that churlish.

In MLS action which Commissioner Garber missed because he was busy at the Whitewater Rafting semifinals, there was San Jose's first two-game winning streak coupled with New England's first two game losing streak.

To their credit, the Revs aren't making excuses for getting the crud stomped out of them 4-0 by the lowly Quakes, but they were simply way too shorthanded to beat much of anyone.

And in case you haven't noticed, the Josers are putting together an actual team out there: in addition to winning two straight they're unbeaten in their last five and have scored seven goals in their last two after tallying only six in the 10 games prior to that.

I hope anyone who had the chance to watch the DC-Chicago match yesterday didn't pass it up. One of the best games I've seen all year. Simply a fine, fine match between two well-coached and talented teams.

And since I make a point of kicking around some of the really lousy soccer broadcasters they inflict upon us innocent American soccer fans, I should add that the Fire's team (I believe it's Fred Huebner and Chris Doran) were absolutely wonderful.

They covered the action, stayed pertinent, didn't waste your time with mindless complaints about the officiating and when there was nothing much to say they shut up. Bravo.

And in Houston Kei Kamara should be thanking his lucky stars that he doesn't work for John Carver.

Kamara missed so many wide open shots that if he played for TFC they wouldn't banish him to the Reserves locker room, they'd make him dress in his car.

Fortunately for Houston, they didn't need the goals as they beat RSL 4-3 and took back what they consider rightfully theirs: first place in the West.

Meanwhile, Columbus was taking back something they've hardly ever had: first place in the East.

They followed up Jeff Cunningham's brilliant first half goal with a pair in the second which put them a point up on New England.

Cunningham, who looked very dangerous, particularly in the first half, has now scored at least one goal against every MLS team. You'll have to ask someone like Best XI or Climbing the Ladder how many others have done that but I have to think it's a short list.

Finally, in a night replete with triumphant returns to Major League Soccer, Clint Mathis was subbed in part way into the second half and five minutes later he showed Brad Davis what you do when you're not quite so fast any more:

Interestingly, Mathis was the guy RSL traded to Colorado for: Jeff Cunningham.

Sorry, almost forgot: KC and Colorado also played last night.

The best summary of that affair I can find is FOUND RIGHT HERE

Somewhere, Jack Edwards is smiling.