Hey, you! Don't watch this, watch that!

"So what's with the cheap-ass replicas?" asks the multitude in one of Andy's indispensable photo threads.

"It's not a USSF event, it's the United States, you ignorant, disgusting tools. GOD, you all make me SICK," replies Andy. Seriously, direct quote. Go and look.

I thought that sounded, like, weird, man, so I summoned the Great Gazoogle.*

"Hello, dum-dum!"

"Great Gazoogle," I asked, "were all Olympics before this non-cresty?"

"Well, the United States men's soccer team boycotted the Athens Olympics for human rights reasons, but here's a shot from 2000:"

That's Peter "V-Gas" Vagenas, at the Sydney Olympics in 2000, wearing Landon Donovan's number and the US Soccer Federation's crest.

Vagenas has not played in the Olympics since then, so he was obviously banned for violating IOC protocol.

"Thank you, Great Gazoogle!" I said, wondering briefly whether I should have just said "This is a stupid, pointless new rule that makes our teams look like jackoffs and jilloffs, depending on which team is playing."

I realize that traditionally, even badges were optional on classic football shirts. But the outfits we have now look like a remaindered series of template tests, especially with the Nike logo so prominently displayed. Clearly SOMETHING needs to go above the left nipple. Maybe by the other two group games, certainly by the next rounds, if we are blessed to go that far. The American flag is an obvious solution - too obvious. Nike should take this opportunity to reintroduce the Don't Tread on Me logos. How wonderful would this look on the jerseys?

The game? Well, I know the result, but I haven't seen the game. It's a good thing the photos are here. And apparently other bloggers either get up early or stay up late. My Olympic coverage, like my Euro coverage, is going to be...ONE STEP BEHIND:

*Joke stolen from liberal blog sadlyno.com.