MLS Week 19 - the past is another country where they boo our anthem

RED BULLS v. EARTHQUAKES
Probably one of the most last place v. last place games I can remember in a while. The Great God Parity is part of the problem here, as even last place teams this year aren't dead yet. It's also because both teams are pushing The Season Starts NOW! on their fans. NYRB believes they're a much better team with Jorge "Sitter" Rojas, the Quakes like their chances with Darren "Abel Xavier is right about the Toronto turf" Huckerby. I like San Jose in this game, mostly because New York has just been unspeakable on the road. Quakes, 2-1.

GALAXY v. BURNINATORS
Dallas fans have had this puppy circled on their calendar since Ruiz came back from injury. Or since Steve Morrow's last game. The Hoopy Froods have a LOT to prove, and badly need this one in order to have some say in the West - they're as close to any team to being out of the playoffs already. Meanwhile, the Galaxy haven't won in a month and a half. Ruiz, Toja, Cooper, and Buddle were all rumored to be gone by this game, so I think all four start and go 90. 2-2.

FIRE v. WIZARDS
I guess Blanco isn't gonna be suspended. Remember when I kept talking up Kansas City, and then when the Crew beat the hell out of them last month I finally stopped? Well, the Blue Meanies haven't lost since then. Oh, yeah, like it's me. I affect the play of professional athletes. There's an inverse relationship between how well I think Kansas City does, and what they actually do. It's all me. I'm MAGIC. I'm not even concerned that the Wizards think Josh Wolff will solve all their problems, I'm really not. KC, 3-1.

CREW v. RAPIDS
Oh, I KNEW there was a reason I didn't feel good about Columbus in this game: "The Crew have not won on their last eight visits to Colorado." That's good enough for me. Raps, 2-1.

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL
Salt Lake did a lot better than I thought they would last week, getting their fourth point on the road. The Curse of First Place combined with the Citadel of Rice-Eccles means another tie is a complete inevitability, though. So I'm going to be all edgy and predict a win. Tron FC really are terrible on the road, and it would be the most hilarious thing in the history of the world if Carver blames the Rice-Eccles turf for the loss. Jeff Cunningham needs to be subbed in, then do a pro-wrestling face-turn for the crowd as he rips off his gray TFC shirt to show the RSL jersey underneath. Royals, 3-0.

DC UNITED, CHIVAS USA, NEW ENGLAND and HOUSTON
are all tuckered out from the Superliga, poor dears.