Bulletin: Sun to Rise in the East

As sadly predictable as the seasons so goes the parting shots a spurned athlete takes at the coach who found him surplus to his team's needs.

And so it is that ABEL XAVIER, CLASSY TO THE END is now out there trashing Ruud Gullit.

Look, Abe, boobie - a word to the wise: we all understand how embarrassing it must be to show up back in England and have to explain to your pals how it came to be that you got jettisoned by a team in a junky league like MLS, but "I wasn't really happy there" usually works better than "the coach is a poopiehead"

Bottom line, you stunk the place up. It's too bad that you feel Gullit disrespected you, but you were hired to play well and instead you played lousy, which normally gets a guy canned whether the coach is Simon Legree or Santa Claus.

It seems to be really excitng news in Seattle that the former PBP announcer for the Sonics, who just recently found himself unemployed, has signed on to do the same chore for Sounders FC.

THEY SEEM TO FEEL THAT THIS IS GREAT NEWS, in that a "voice familiar to all" in the area will be doing the games for their new MLS entry.

Personally, I was hoping that we had p[assed the point where tired old retread announcers from other sports were hired to do soccer. Knowing next to nothing at all about the game would seem to be a somewhat weak starting point for someone who is going to be explaining it to other people in about nine months.

I know that they were shooting for someone familiar, a voice the Seattle area already knows, but is there really much chance that this guy won't suck?

Speaking of sports broadcasters in San Jose station KRON has a guy named Gary Radnich.

Now I'm the first one to complain about lack of local coverage so this must sound incredibly churlish but this piece on the arrival of Darren Huckerby is simply embarrassing:

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Which embarassment is only amplified when someone in Great Britain picks up on it and TAKES RADNICH OUT BACK OF THE WOODSHED.

On the other hand, it's hard to be offended when someone writes this well:

The next time you complain about Sky or any of the newspapers this side of the pond over-hyping mediocre footballers, just be thankful that you don't live in the home of melanoma and botched boob-jobs, California.
For good lord, are they excited about the latest preening addition to the MLS, Mr Darren Huckerby, who has just signed on to start his retirement with the San Jose Earthquakes.

Leading the joy seems to be KRON 4, which despite sounding like the Scientologist TV channel, actually turns out to be a news station.

Like they say, read the whole thing.

On the other had if you are having a crappy day and badly need someone to tee off on, I highly recommened THIS IMBECILE WHO WRITES FOR SOME THIRD RATE FISHWRAPPER someplace in the hinterlands.

I know, I know, he's a zero and hardly worth the effort, but still: that level of rank stupidity clearly deserves some kind of response, and who better than the good denizens of BigSoccer to give it to him?

It's a big week for soccer North of the Border:

Sure the All Star game will have three Canadian sympathy selections languishing on the bench for our pasty-faced brethren to ogle through their beer glasses, but the warmup is tonight when TFC will try to avoid a humiliating loss to USL side Montreal Impact.

If Toronto can't get the win, then Montreal will be crowned "Champion of Canada", a distinction which would rank right up there next to "Best Fart Sound Maker" as far as you and I are concerned but which is critically important if the Reds are going to maintain any credibility.

Go Impact.

Finally I promised myself that I wasn't going to hash over the Riot of the Century in Columbus over the weekend.

Goodness knows the police have enough to do cleaning up the streets, bulldozing the burned buildings, processing the thousands of arrestees, helping out at the overflowing hospitals and burying the dead from this massive conflagration without me tossing wildly overpriced 89 octane on the embers, but as long as I linked to that monumental fool above I've already sort of broken the promise anyway, so I might as well go ahead and add this:

If it seems way out there to you, then it probably is, so forget I said it, BUT:

Given the open hostility and contempt regularly shown by fans of "real, American sports" toward soccer and soccer players, does anyone but me think that the idea of hiring a crowd of ex-(and current) football players, who appear to be hopped up on "the Cream" and "the Clear" to "supervise" or "police" or "beat crud out of" soccer fans is patently asking for trouble?

These guys - I would venture almost literally all of them - spent their entire lives hanging around locker rooms denigrating soccer as a sissy sport and calling soccer players homosexuals.

What better group to round up and ask to come keep a bunch of soccer fans in line?

You don't suppose that's literally begging for trouble, do you?