Week 16 in hindsight

Ask me how weird a week this has been for me.

Sigh. Okay, Dan, how weird a-

Swear to God, someone just drove a freaking HOWITZER by my house. I hope it's not Luis Bueno.

I'm so late with these previews, I have to use a spoiler shield.

Before we do, I just wanted to add an option for the Brian McBride saga - I suggest McBride sign with a USL team, although it would look weird for an ex-Rampage guy to wear a Thunder uniform. Wait, he's not cap-tied...maybe he could play for the Impact or Whitecaps, just to teach Toronto a lesson.

The allocation system is officially broken, and has been since long before Dallas traded Freddy Adu's rights to DC United. Sticking with it now is pointless.

Anyway:
EARTHQUAKES v. RAPIDS
My guess: the Rapids have turned it around, and take over first place at the expense of the newbies.
Actual result: 1-1. I guess San Jose isn't just marking time until Darren Huckerby arrives. A point at home is actually something to sneeze at, but it must be frustrating that in this of all years, a talentless but big-hearted team can't make decent headway in the West. Of course, if Huckerby gets San Jose into the playoffs, the sky's the limit. Until they play a team from the Eastern Conference at whatever stage of the playoffs. I guess that's not really the sky, is it?

As for Colorado - either three or four teams in the West will miss the playoffs this year - all of them will deserve to, but only three or four will actually have justice served. If the Raps are one of the three, this will be one of the many games upon which they look back in anger. Does Kroenke have a side bet going on how long he can keep Clavijo?

FIRE v. CLUB
It's the last word of the team name, so it's a nickname. This is AMERICA.
My guess: Blanco distraction adds to Fire woes, so does jobbing on the road to the Red Menace.
Actual result: 2-1, like the DC game but with the home fans happy. WOW, did Chicago need this one a whole lot. Remember when they were just games in hand from passing New England? That was before they forgot to win for a month. Behold the peril of games in hand. FSC actually mentioned the trouble Blanco had gotten himself into...on the other hand, he was playing, so I think the prognosis for MLS action against Cootiemac is roughly 0.9 Hernandez at this point, where totally ignoring it while the USSF bans him from further Open Cup play ever is a full 1.0 Hernandez.

John Thorrington sure comes up with big goals, and Chris Rolfe sure comes up with beautiful ones. The problem with Rolfe is, and I really like the guy, but he's a lot more effective when he has, oh, ten or fifteen yards of space, preferably after receiving the ball after a bungled defensive clearance. Even late turn of the millennium MLS defenses aren't always that cooperative. The problem with Thorrington is basically unrealistic expectations of having played in the DC United youth system. I think if we take him at face value from here on in, and ignore his resume, we can appreciate his value.

Wait, it was MANCHESTER United? Jesus, why isn't he a better player?!

Just kidding - he's probably the best former Manchester United player in the league right now. What? He's better than Kirovski, that's for sure.

LAKE v. CREW
It's the last word of the team name, so it's a nickname. This is AMERICA.
My guess: Real Salt Lake goes undefeated at home, misses the playoffs. That means ties against better teams.
Actual result: Ladies and gentlemen, your first place Real Salt Lake. Maybe Jason Kreis should get suspended more often.

Javier Morales must be wondering why he's not getting the fame and adulation MLS gives to its anointed stars like Chris Klein and Sacha Kljestan. The Royals have been a completely different team since he arrived. Not always good, not by any means, but certainly not the MLS points ATM they used to be. I was also thinking RSL needed to figure out whether Robbie Findley is a starter or a sub, but he's scoring either way, so I guess that's not a pressing issue.

Can you imagine if these guys learned to play on grass? Well, someone better imagine it, otherwise October's going to be awfully ugly.