Who among us does not love Landon?

While waiting the Superduperclasico with a sphincter tighter than the Count Basie Orchestra, I was perusing the All-Star voting. Dave Denholm on real live over-the-air radio expressed astonishment that there was a single coach or GM in the league who wouldn't vote Landon Donovan onto the All-Star team. As you can see, 93.2% of those in a coach or GM capacity did vote for him. I don't know if assistant coaches were included, but I think we can narrow down the suspects pretty easily.

1. Preki and the Bizarro Chivas brain trust. They're apparently still frosted about Landon Donovan calling them out on their manhood - go figure! See, Landon celebrated a goal in front of the CUSA bench, and although Donovan claimed he was celebrating in front of Bianca - a claim that, knowing Landon's considerable on-field OCD, is incredibly believable, since that pretty much is his standard goal celebration - he did follow that up with "if they don't like it, don't let me score." Seriously, if I ever make an apology and follow it up with "if you're not man enough to accept it," go ahead and question my sincerity.

2. DC United. Yes. Look at his ********ing nose. They might have been furiously scrambling this week to unvote for Blanco, though, if they were going to hold grudges against anyone.

3. Alexi Lalas and Ruud Gullit. Frankly, I think these are our culprits. You think these guys are thrilled about sending Landon to a meaningless midweek exhibition on the BMO turf? I can just picture the Galaxy front office explaining the very concept of an All-Star game to Gullit. "It's like a testimonial, except we're just raising money for the league." The Galaxy aren't pumped about sending Landon to the freaking Olympics, let alone to the All-Star game. Rest assured, plans are afoot to have Donovan and Beckham to open a Hooters in Guatemala City that night.