Would the Real John Carver Please Shut Up?

Toronto FC Head Coach John Carver is - are you sitting down? - UNHAPPY ABOUT THE NUMBER OF PLAYERS HE'S MISSING DUE TO NATIONAL TEAM CALLUPS.

What's more, some of them aren't even playing, or aren't playing much, and he says that in the future he's not going to allow his guys to play in friendlies if they're not held during FIFA-mandated international dates.

Look, John, buddy; I know we've not been the best of pals and, frankly, your fan base burns me in effigy once a week, but let me explain something to you anyway:

You work in Major League Soccer, the United States of America's First Division Professional Soccer League. This league, which you may recognize from your local papers as being "The Top Professional League in North America" plays a schedule which takes no account of FIFA dates. Never has.

I'm sorry if you find this inconvenient. I'm sorry too if you think Bob Bradley isn't giving Maurice Edu enough PT. I'm also sorry if you and Mo have built a roster around players who are susceptible to call up instead of hedging your bets as other MLS coaches do.

But your public pronouncements on the subject aren't likely to impress anyone; we all know your players are going to continue to be called up, that some of them will end up sitting on the bench and that, in the end, you're going to go along with it.

So how's about you just can it?

Purported "Actor" Mark Wahlberg says he WANTS THE BECKHAMS TO GO BACK TO ENGLAND.

What's more, at least ONE SOURCE IS CLAIMING WAHLBERG REFERRED TO BEACKS AS "THAT F*CKER"

It seems Dave and Vicky are neighbors of his and, what with the Paparazzi running around taking their pictures and stuff, the serenity of his expensive little enclave is being shattered and he wants them out.

Or maybe the real problem is that nobody wants his picture too.

Jozy Altidore's new employer Spanish giant Villareal, says that contrary to all reports and assumptions, THEY HAVE NO INTENTION OF LOANING THE YOUNG AMERICAN STRIKER OUT

They feel he can develop better under their careful tutelage at the big club, so - for now at least - Altidore is going to get a taste of the BIG time.

Conversely the career of another MLS starlet is indeed about to take the "go out and get some games route: Salt Lake Royals Nik Besagno, the first overall pick in the 2005 draft WILL BE PLYING HIS TRADE IN SEATTLE for the foreseeable future.

RSL GM Garth Lagerwey wants you to know that it's not because the three year MLS veteran, who was drafted at the tender age of 16 and has appeared in all of 6 games, isn't living up to the hype.

Rather, it's because he can "develop" better in the hustings. Which, to be sure, is possible, but the Besagno pick was maybe the worst #1 selection in the history of the league (there IS some competition for that claim, to be sure) and no one will be surprised if the kid is never seen in MLS again.

And in the "Raising Expectations" department, Bob Bradley's USMNT is preparing for their midweek WC qualifier against a Barbados side coming off of two straight losses last weekend to 139th ranked Bermuda by an aggregate 5-1 score.

Under this kind of circumstance, it's likely that complacency is the biggest threat Bradley faces.

It's likely a good thing that we play these guys first; you tend to get fired up for your first qualifier, regardless of who you're playing.