So if you've been waiting to hear just what MLS decided to fine Toronto FC Coach "Whinin' John" Carver for his post-game tirade claiming that the league had banned him from putting his hands on his head, wait no more:
Since MLS rivals the KGB in their obsession for secrecy, we're not likely to hear any explanation out of New York any time soon. They obviously don't feel they owe us one, which is pretty much par for the course..
I would guess though that one guy who might very well think someone does in fact owe him an explanation is Jason Kreis, who they hit up for a grand a few weeks back after making some pointed comments regarding the realtive merits of the officiating.
And what's worse, unlike Carver, poor Jason wasn't even lying.
It may seem amazing to you and I but there are some people who STILL DON'T SEEM TO GRASP THE DEAL with regard to McBride.
In this case, the writer gets his delicates all in a knot over how MLS is going to "force" McBride to "play for the only Canadian team"
Then again, that poor blogger isn't paid nearly as much as THIS IDIOT IN THE TORONTO STAR who writes - like so many other completely clueless North-of-the-Border sportswriters before him - that McBride has "decided to return to MLS"
No people, BMB did not wake up one morning and decide to "return to MLS".
The man is returning TO THE UNITED STATES, to LIVE IN HIS HOME TOWN. And if MLS can't accommodate his wishes he'll either go back to England or retire. Period.
Apparently even Mo Johnston doesn't understand this simple idea. Astonishingly, he says "he plans to take his time and hold out for a significant payoff".
Good luck with that, Mo.
Sometimes, it's the inability of some people to grasp basic facts that makes you want to throw something.
Speaking of throwing something there are persistent rumbles about MLS changing it's mind regarding the festive corner kick "Streamer Ceremony" which has become all the rage in certain parts of the league.
With Commissioner Don Garber on record as being behind the whole thing 100%, it's going to be difficult for the league to turn around and issue an outright ban.
At the same time, while the league can smile knowingly at the outside critics and observe that the problem is they don't understand soccer culture and a little harmless fun, it's also true that other objects flying fieldward are a lot tougher to explain away.
As for streamers, which even most players confess they find humorous, when you don't bother to break the tape and instead hurl the thing in a solid wad from five feet away, ten feet of (still rolled up) crepe paper becomes a projectile.
I think we can look for a league directive which will outline some basic guidelines as MLS makes a valiant effort not to toss out the baby with the bathwater.
The teams will try to work closely with their supporters groups which, in turn, will have to begin doing some basic self-policing, in this and other areas as well.
The only other alternative is the kind of massive security presence which often provokes as many problems as it solves.
It's interesting that in this particular instance the rest of the league is playing catch-up with a team that doesn't even exist yet:
The Sons of Ben, whose heroes won't hit the pitch for almost two years, have already had preliminary discussions with team officials developing ways they can anticipate, ward off and/or handle unfortunate incidents at a level somewhat below utilizing stadium security.
If there's one common theme in all the stuff I write about MLS it's that "we're all in this together" and we need to start acting that way.