Wacky. Wild and wacky. Wacky, wacky, wacky.
Now that I've completely covered both the weekend's MLS action and septic sludgepot website MLS Rumors' level of journalistic toiletry, we can move on to the more important issue:
While brainless clods like Steven "Does this t-shirt make me look fat?" Cohen want to wank on about how Beckham is here to be "the voice of American soccer" and various nincompoops scattered liberally about the American sports landscape continue to write columns about how Beckham was a one-shot, over-the-hill waste of promotional dollars, the player himself just keeps doing what he does:
Play soccer very, very well.
Has the guy made one false step since he got here? Is there a more unfailingly polite, accommodating and patient sports star anywhere in the US? Is there a star making anything like that kind of money who is as respectful of his teammates, as genuinely modest, as unfailingly focused on his sport?
He's remained calm and unperturbed in the face of scorn, ridicule and abuse from every ignorant soccer-hating clown in the country, and a shocking number of supposed "fans" of the game. He just smiles, straps on his boots and he goes out and plays.
And boy, can he play.
Which brings us to the case of Coohatualopitopicalitistic Blanco (did I get that right?).
Apparently Juan Carlos Osorio, and a lot of other people, felt that it was largely coaching genius which lit up the Fire last summer. The addition of Blanco was just the icing on the cake.
Well forget it. Blanco is the icing, the cake, the platter, the mixer, the oven, the flour and the tractor they used to grow the wheat.
How nice that Osorio got a prime birds-eye view of his team's defense being ripped apart like a wedding cake in a weight loss ward.
And what a weird feeling it is after all these years of despising District of Columbia United to actually feel good about them coming from behind and winning a game in spectacular, thrilling, mind blowing fashion.
When you find yourself sitting there cheering wildly for the team that everyone loves to hate, it suddenly strikes you that something crazy is going on this year.
Then we're treated to a Beckham goalthat takes your breath away, but you're not sure why because all it really is is a guy kicking a ball a long ways into a goal that's eight yards wide for Pete's sake. Anybody could do it.
Only nobody does. Which is why it's been broadcast and written about in every corner of the world, from Thailand to Zimbabwe.
However much they really are paying the guy - and who the heck really knows - he's worth every nickel, to the Galaxy, to AEG, to MLS and to the game itself.
Finally, as Jeff has marvelously described it - I'm not easily humbled, as you may have noticed - the New England - Columbus match was as good a game as we've seen all year.
Two very good teams going toe-to-toe, nobody giving an inch, nobody playing for the draw, not one player backing down from a challenge. And yet as intense and furious as it was, also astonishingly cleanly played, with a lack of thuggery that did both teams very proud.
People who want to complain about soccer being dull because of lack of scoring should watch a tape of that one. Compelling stuff.
As a Crew fan I'd like to say that Herron's foul call on Ezra was bogus, but I can't because it wasn't. A lot of referees would have shied away from that whistle in the 89th minute of a nil-nil match, but a foul's a foul and I've got no beef.
I will only say that some of the post game discussion, led by the irresponsible mewlings of a thoroughly bogus website which long ago surrendered any shred of integrity, is pretty overblown.
One or two people got too much beer in them and got carried away, and I can't think of a single team or stadium in MLS where that hasn't been the case from time to time.
Exaggeration, hyperbole and a bunch of self-righteous indignation are the responses of children and fools. We're all in this together and if you don't get that you don't get anything.
Incidents have happened before and they'll happen again, and we'll deal with them appropriately and move on. In the meantime, muckraking garbage websites trying to gin up hits for themselves by cynically exploiting isolated problems are only serving their own narrow interests at the expense of MLS and American soccer.