Blatter: "Half of all 2014 WC Players Will be Brazilian"

As if he wasn't having enough problems trying to sell his "6+5" program to the rest of the world (and not coincidentally to the EU) FIFA SUpremo Sepp Blatter is now demanding that FIFA ENACT STRICTER RESIDENCY REQUIREMENTS FOR NATIONAL TEAM PLAYERS

In SeppWorld, you see, Brazil is everyone's Daddy, a kind of NBA player with children in every city and town, and unless action is taken - and soon - in a few cycles the World Cup will be converted into one big Samba competition populated by ball-dancing Poles and Thais and Swedes, and instead of the teams taking the pitch to the stirring strains of The FIFA Anthem they'll boogie out of the tunnel to The Girl from Ipanema.

(If I was Broadway Dan, I'd be able to scribble a few song lines, something like "Tall and tan and fat and greedy, the thieves from FIFA Zurich go walking..." but that's not my skill set)

Blatter feels the way to deal with this impending crisis is to change the residency requirement from two years to five, which will presumably force "Samba Landon" Donovan and "Rio Rio" Ferdinand and the the rest of the Boys from Brazil to wait a lot longer to take over ever national team program on Earth.

Sometimes, you gotta wonder what it is Jack Warner is sending Sepp in those Care Packages from the Caribbean. And whether he sends papers too.