The common clay of the new West (R)

Spoiler image and theme quote:

Boy, do I hate the West.
- Gov. William J. LePetomane

Just got back from betting my life savings on the Seattle Sounders to win the Western Conference next year. They've got to be better than the seven team French Mistake we're watching so far.

The Power Picks! were pretty good this week, but Always Bet on the Eastern Conference Team was perfect. It's getting a wee bit embarrassing. The Home Depot Center is like an Eastern Conference ATM for points. New England won this afternoon with a 3-6-1. A three-six-one. Perhaps our younger readers don't remember what 3-6-1 means in American soccer history, but it's not exactly associated with winning.

What's even worse - remember when I sneered at the West having leaders at .500? Well, they sure did something about it - now they have a leader UNDER .500. First place in the East has twice as many points as first place in the West. Thanks to last night's first freaking win of the year, Houston - the miserable, pitiful, laughable, teach 'em French and move 'em to Montreal Dynamo - are two points out of first. Good for my preseason prediction, bad for my belief that no, all seven teams in the West shouldn't actually be relegated and replaced by PDL teams.

Whoever misses the playoffs in the East this year is going to be pretty tedious about "If we were in the West, blah blah blah" - look, Kansas City, just because you crossed the Missouri River doesn't mean you're in the West. And whoever misses the playoffs in the West should be utterly ashamed of themselves, seeing as how even an average job gets you home field advantage until late November. It's twue, it's twue.

Not that I'm annoyed that my favorite team just had to play somewhere within screaming distance of barely acceptable to be alone in first. Just wire the head office and tell them I said "ow."