One man can make a difference (weekend R)

And welcome to BigSoccer's Not Mentioning Hitler Week, where we promise to go an entire week without mentioning this guy:

...well, okay, so far, off to a bad start.

Speaking of people with facial hair...Troy Dayak. Mr. Dayak, sir, people who dress like Billy Ray Cyrus and look like a Mad Max villain should not sound like the late Vincent Schiavelli switching to decaf in "Fast Times." I remember very distinctly that San Jose Earthquakes soccer used to put you in an enthusiastic mood, to say the least, charging from penalty area to penalty area with all the subtlety of a starving hyena. I realize your tone of voice was depressingly representative of the festering glop the Quakes and the FCD's served up Saturday afternoon, but honesty is not the best policy. Poor John Shrader had to channel the worst qualities of Max Bretos and Jim Ross just to balance you out.

I hope Dallas is just going through a rough stretch of road right now, because they are the worst first place team I've seen since Sigi Schmid was fired from Los Angeles. And they still look better than the rest of the West. San Jose may make it to late September before being officially eliminated from the playoffs. Everyone says they're building intelligently, they're not going to get blown out of any games, and despite being fairly horrifying to sit through, they're one point out of a playoff spot. If the season ended today...then I WAY overpaid for my season tickets. Thank you. Yes, that line never gets old.

The RSL-Galaxy game looked like it was played with a kickball on blacktop, while the Quakes-FCD game looked like they were kicking a beanbag on the beach. Therefore, my solution is to ban natural grass and replace it with the leftover 1970's Veterans Stadium carpet that Salt Lake plays on these days.

Maybe a few more games like that, and people will start talking about David Beckham, the player, again. Yeah, I know, he could be the league's first 20 goal, 20 assist player and people would still say he was in MLS for his retirement. If his name was Benkman, and he was just some English guy who came out of the Man U youth system along with Jovan Kirovski, people would be saying "Wow, he's turning into a real good pickup for the Galaxy." But, too many people have killed too many electrons saying otherwise, so I guess the last word will have to go to little Cruz:

That's not going to get old until the sun burns out.

Other games:

Colorado 2, DC United 0. Mountain air strikes DC yet again. If DCU ever does play a Marco Etcheverry tribute game in La Paz, the home team will break the scoreboard. Los Pids go to Houston to try to keep the Dynamo winless, DC United has a lot to prove with Chicago coming to town for the ESPN2 game. At least it's at sea level.

Houston 0, Chivas USA 0. Injuries and suspensions overshadow preseason darlings' incompetence. It's like MLS is writing fanfiction just for me.

Columbus 2, Kansas City 1. They did earn the two goal lead, even if Roger Espinoza made it a tiny bit easier for it to stand. Impressive win for the Crew may translate into Power Ranking! improvement.

New England 0, Chicago 3. See, that's what a Revolution team riddled with injuries is supposed to look like. Only road win of the week, interestingly. Impressive win for the Fire may translate into Power Ranking! improvement.

Power Picks! for the weekend: 1-2-4. Based on predicted results from the Power Rankings! I have no idea how to factor in draws, so I'm counting them as draws. (If you'd like me to take credit for the team with the higher Power Ranking! getting a point on the road in all four of those draws, I suppose I could. I'm still working out the kinks in the Power Rankings! system, to be honest.)