(R)ed Bulls v. (R)ed Squirrels (R)esult

Okay...I gotta know. How did you all manage to beat an apology out of Bill, when I was able to get away with "Apologize? No, thanks" with my Hitler joke?

Oh, well. Spoiler image - Jack Grimes, Fascist candidate for President.

(Because ONCE AGAIN I have mislaid my copy of the original DC United logo, the one that was hastily pulled in 1995 or so because it looked like, well, pretty much like the last thing Glenn Miller ever saw. A few old-time DC fans have it as an avatar, if you feel like searching.)

I hate to crack down like some kind of fascist dictator, but I'm starting to think the whole streamer business is about to wear out its welcome. I've been a big supporter of the unwritten "Except for Toronto" clause in the league's fan behavior rules up until now. Yes, throwing seat cushions onto the field was hilarious. Yes, seeing Van Den Bergh with his red streamer was wonderful. But the joke is THIS CLOSE to being completely played. Eventually, fans are going to want to see the corner kick taken.

Speaking of being just about played....when Matt Reis gave his elementary school a shoutout, it was awe-inspiring. But now the joke has been done, and people need a new schtick. Fortunately, we have Rohan Ricketts to save the day, delivering a perfect deadpan "Beverly Hills, California," while everyone in the background cracks up. Ricketts' hometown listing on MLSnet is currently blank, so I hereby plead with MLS to put in "Beverly Hills, California."

By the way, first guy on the Thursday night telecast to say "Vote for Jack Grimes" in their introduction is my new all-time favorite player.

Okay, Red Tories, answer me this...if you're holding beers in each hand...HOW ARE YOU THROWING THE STREAMERS? Possible answers to this question, each one more horrifying than the last, kept me up all night. And don't give me that "We put down a beer in order to throw a streamer" jive. No, you do not put down your beer. Not ever. I can tell by looking at you.

The other thing that's going to get old is Jozy Altidore's attitude. Again, right now, because he did it to Amado Guevara, it's funny. But the whole Greco-Roman approach to ball-winning he's got going on right now is going to fly about as well in Europe as...wait, I did a Glenn Miller joke already. At least we can count on the Red Bulls' godawful attitude to perk up spirits. When the game gets a little slow, they'll just start a brawl.

So, Toronto is disappointed, but they still have an unbeaten streak. New York got the job done on the road - we'll see if a tie is enough for them to hold onto the #1 overall power ranking.