Save the environment - smoke a bowl for Hitler (R)

Happy 4/20, everyone. Let's do a drive-by on the weekend results (so far - Dallas goes up against Bizarro Chivas in fifteen minutes - so, I've got to rush through this entry and drive down to Carson and enjoy my hometown team - wait, it's probably sold out, never mind).

Results below. Rolls eyes, whistles innocently, tries not to make eye contact with anyone....boy, if I knew that line was gonna come up on the home page, I'd probably have spent a lot less time writing about squirrels.

Spoiler image:

York 1, England 1

Assuming any non-loss in April can be called disastrous, this one qualifies. New England came into Hoffa Memorial Stadium missing Twellman, Ralston, and Albright. At halftime, the Revolution were down 1-0 thanks to a Goal of the Year candidate from Josmer. About thirty seconds after halftime, New England was down a man thanks to Mauricio Castro's shot in Kevin Goldthwaite's penalty area. (Did we ever figure out why Claudio Reyna got a yellow card after the fracas? I didn't see him hit anyone.) Shep Messing then told his viewing audience that this was now a must-win game for the Red Bulls.

Oops. Chris Leitch fouled Adam Cristman at the top of the key, and then Jeff Larentowicz put the free kick past a Chris Leitch-shaped hole in the New York wall.

I don't want to tell Juan Carlos Osorio how to do his job, but when you're a man up and tied at home against a quality division rival missing pretty much everyone, this:

Substitutes Not Used: Oscar Echeverry

should not happen.

All this is assuming that rushing back Angel didn't cost him a few more weeks on the shelf. Except for the wonderful highlight reel Altidore goal, I don't know where New York gets a positive out of that game.

First Place 0, Last Place 2

If I were Bill Simmons, I'd put forward something called the Iron Law of MLSnet Fluff Pieces, where every time a team is unexpectedly in first place for a week, and we read a whole series of articles along the lines of how the goalkeeper is unbeatable and the coach is proving his critics wrong, the next result will be something that would embarrass Barnstoneworth United.

Thou Shalt Not Believe Thine Own Hype.

The Earthquakes managed to overcome the altitude, Coach Gullitt, and put in a performance so good that Joe Cannon might update his blog for the first time in a month.

Colorado is still in first place, depending on what happens in Carson this evening. Whether they finish Earth Day in first or second, it will be a much more humble team that plays in Bridgeview on Saturday.

Rich Man 2, Poor Man 2

Another game with highlight reel moments for the home team masking a potentially very troubling result. Landon Donovan and David Beckham are just beautiful players to watch. Some of the plays they had were simply breathtaking. But the guy to keep an eye on is Straight Outta Palmdale Sean Franklin. It's a little early to keep track of potential Rookies of the Year, but then again, are there any other candidates who have seen playing time yet? Shea Salinas, I guess, if he recovers from the Chicago/Oakland game. And Ciaran O'Brien, if people want to reward him for cheap-shotting Carlos Ruiz.

Dave, how do you explain the turnaround from the awful first half?

Yeah, you know things are going well when the suits drop by after forty-five minutes to give a pep talk.

Anyway, Joe Franchino re-debuted (I know...see, that's what makes it funny) and played well. Abel Xavier returned, and did not. True story - when Steve Cronin punched instead of caught the corner kick in the 79th minute, I said out loud "If this ends up a goal, I blame Cronin." Seeing the highlights again, Cronin played a better game than I thought at the time...but yeah, goal #2 for the Dynamo was totally on Cronin.

In case you were wondering whether I was going to be That Guy, and complain that the cleared header late in the game actually crossed the line....of course I am.

The Galaxy have improved noticeably since the beginning of the season...except in the back line. I realize no coach likes starting a bunch of rookies, and LA is already putting anywhere from two to three out there a game - but if the veterans are handing over 2.00 GAA on a GOOD day, why not get the kids some experience?

Oh, and speaking of 2.00 GAA - yeah, but Tony Caig was terrific last night, and without some fantastic saves, this is a two or three goal LA win. He wasn't goalkeeper controversy terrific, but it sure wasn't his fault that the Galaxy came back to tie. That was all Landon and Beckham.

Sophomores 1, Seniors 0

Is this, like, Toronto's first winning streak ever?

Muggles 0, Wizards 1

Didn't see it. Was this game any good? Since the road team scored in minute number four, and since this was Kansas City, history suggests that this game celebrated Hitler's birthday with an eighty-six minute bunker. But Curt Onalfo isn't Bob Gansler, so I didn't wanna just ASSUME anything. The recap read like a cut 'n paste of MLS Cup 2000, though.