Many are cold, few are frozen

It's possible that this ticked me off way, way more than it should have. But I tried. I read it several hours ago, I didn't immediately rush to the keyboard, I ran a bunch of errands before sitting down to write this, and I didn't even like the T-shirt very much to begin with.

But no. I've gone back and re-read it several times, and each time it's another layer of frosting on my cupcake of irritation.

Just to recap - the cast of characters: Luis "The perception is really there, though, that the Galaxy is the 'white' team" Bueno, and "l.b." in the comments below; and Andrea "a.c." Canales, who I probably shouldn't automatically assume holds the same pig-ignorant opinions about the Galaxy's racial bias as co-bloggers Bueno and Jaime Cardenas. Nobody assumes I agree with Bill Archer and Monday M. Shirt about everything...except, you know what, if Archer or Monday or Bufflo ever really tick you off about something, and you feel I need to denounce and reject? Let me know, and I'll take a position one way or the other.

Well, yes, they were. Five thousand, to be exact. To a crowd of over five times that (okay, minus the Quake fans, whose interest in this shirt would be understandably minimal), many of whom thanks to rush hour traffic had no chance of getting this shirt. (For the record, I had a chance to get one, didn't really like it, let someone else have it who would have appreciated it.)

See, this alone made my head explode.

First of all, try sixty-nine degrees Fahrenheit at kickoff, you freaking crybabies.

Second, the place has been open since 2003, and yeah, it gets a little chilly sometimes at night thanks to our friend, the Pacific Ocean, the largest body of water on Earth. We're not talking Donald Rumsfeld's unknown unknowns here. My team is being covered by the media equivalent of the people who every time it rains in LA, speed up thinking their tires will get less wet, so they can go home and watch the news coverage of "STORMWATCH 2008!" Complaining about LA weather under any circumstances ever is like going into a pediatric burn ward and complaining about the uneven tan you got from the parlor.

Third, out of all the people who should have been taken by surprise by the weather patterns in and around Carson, people who cover the MLS teams who play there weekly for a freaking living are at the very bottom of the list.

HA HA HA that's adorable. Oh by the way, they weren't meant for you, they were meant for fans, but yeah, why should supporters get a giveaway featuring their home team? Don't you realize that OUR MEDIA IS CHILLY?!

Here's the difference between fans and media.

I've occasionally said harsh, unkind things about Chivas USA. Harsh, unkind, and 100% true things about Chivas USA, but we'll leave that aside for the moment. Let's assume that Chivas USA were stupid enough to give me a media pass on T-shirt giveaway night.

Let's further assume that I was too stupid to bring a jacket for a night game, I mean, what do you want, I've only been to the Home Depot Center HUNDREDS OF TIMES.

How cold would the weather have to be for me to wear that shirt - and you know what, let's say the shirt was TOTALLY AWESOME. Like, with a super-powered ninja zombie goat shooting lightning out of its eyes and waving Elric's Stormbringer, and it was drawn by Frida Freaking Kahlo brought back from the freaking dead just to design that T-shirt. I see one lying there, and gosh, I'm kinda cold. Do I get to wear that Chivas USA shirt without you calling me the biggest hypocrite that ever drew breath on God's green earth? Feel free to include wind chill factor in your answer.

Would YOU ever do that, MLS fan? Let's say it was a team you didn't really care about one way or the other - would you take that shirt away from a fan who did care about that team? Okay, maybe you throw it in the trash or sneeze on it just to ruin some other fan's day, I can get there. But do you wear it? If your answer is anything but no...then hell, send some game reports to MLSnet, you've got a bright future ahead of you.

Oh, and in case it crosses anyone's mind that I'm being in some manner unfair about this - these are exactly the same people who complained about not being given enough access or sufficient perks.

Bill's ticked off at the soccer haters, and yeah, they are ponderous. But it's our sport's so-called friends that will get us in the end, mark my words.