Castle Anthrax

Oh, so it wasn't navy blue all this time. Anthracite, is it? Since it's a jersey of a team I support that doesn't have "Herbalife" all over it, I'll probably hit that link an order myself one in size Fat. But I don't think it's the next Great Football Kit. And I think it's another sign that we're never, ever going to have a Classic American Soccer Jersey.

Well, if we wanted a unique look, we were stuck with gray, brown, purple, pink, or black. Wait, Austria wears black.* And for some reason the only team ever to try to work the brown colors on a soccer field and didn't heartily regret it were St. Pauli. (I wonder why the color works acceptably in the US? Yeah, the Padres ditched it, but honestly they should unditch it.) Juve and Palermo have been thinking pink recently, and I like it. "Yeah, we're wearing pink. Wanna make something of it?" I'm aware Juve was hearkening back to their history, which simply raises the question of why Juve's ancestors thought pink was a good idea to begin with.

I'm sure psychologists could explain why there are so few brown, purple or gray flags - a quick search of the flags of the world showed none whatsoever in those colors. But hey, there's no law that says we have to use the colors on our flag. Italy, Holland, Japan, Australia and Northern Ireland don't. No white or green on the German flag, either. What's wrong with doing the navy and white at home, then throwing in the occasional gray shirt in now and again to entertain the opponents? Besides, when the other team's fans look to burn our flag, they'll be busy trying to find a gray flag, and they'll be all, "What? No gray flag? Curses! I suppose we'll embrace democracy now."

So we're going to look a little funny during qualification. That's okay. Down the road a few years, people will say "Remember those gray uniforms?!" with the same excitement that they say "Remember those San Jose Clash uniforms?!" And there will be retro nights and who knows what else.

And so the "Wear RED!" policy of US supporters is now officially a radioactive crater. I understand there are about fourteen US supporters clubs now, so the redshirt system favored by Sam's Army(TM) has been teetering for a while. To be honest, I've felt that jersey trumps T-shirt for a while, so who knows, maybe supporters clubs can get out of the business of telling grown men and women how to dress in public. I know, crazy!

Oh, crap, I forgot to do an April Fool's joke. Um, let's see...okay, Diego Maradona...is going to do...something...wacky. Like...play...chess. Yes. He'll play chess against Deep Blue for the world grandmaster chess championship...and a pie. Yes. Because, what would Deep Blue want with a pie? Nothing at all, that's what, it's a computer. The pie would just sit there. That's acceptably risible. April Fool's.

*No one else is concerned about a bunch of Austrians going to other countries wearing black shirts? No? Okay, just me then.