C. Ronaldo

Look, I understand. You hate Manchester United. Doesn't make you unique: everybody hates Manchester United. It's practically a law.

But at some point, hater or not, you're going to have to admit that Christiano Ronaldo is, right now, playing as well as anyone who's ever pulled on a pair of boots.

In case you missed ManU-Aston Villa, here's the first goal:


And for good measure, he then hits three insanely gorgeous one-touch assists: