Jumpin Jack

Since our pal Jack Warner is currently scouring the globe sucking up honorarium money....er, I mean conducting FIFA business, and Chuck Blazer is back in New York safely ensconced in the apartment suite that CONCACAF maintains for him in Trump Tower - a suite which incidentally takes up ONE ENTIRE FLOOR of said tower (someone from New York want to take a stab at what THAT costs?) - I thought I'd reach into the CONCACAF bag and pull out a chestnut.

Warner is still hoping to get the FIFA Executive to "understand the true state of affairs" with regard to Dominica soccer and allow him to install, without an election, his pal Patrick John as President of the DFA. John, you'll recall, is the former Dominica PM who lost an election and then ended up serving 12 years in a US prison for conspiring with the KKK and the Mafia to overthrow the government.

The reason that John lost the election is simply this: back in the days when South Africa was still run by a whites-only apartheid government and as a result was suffering under a UN embargo, there was a lot of money to be made by anyone who was wiling to flaunt the UN and trade with P. W. Botha's white supremacist government.

John, never one to pass up an opportunity to make a few bucks, set up some trade agreements between his country and South Africa.

However, around 98% of Dominica's population is of African descent, and their ancestors didn't arrive on the QE II. Rather, they arrived in chains and were purchased by French plantation owners who managed to make the antebellum American south look like Disneyland.

So not surprisingly, they got a little peevish when they discovered that their Prime Minister was going into business with most racist regime on Earth and tossed John out.

Now fast forward to last fall, when our man Jack, having formed his own political party in Trinidad & Tobago, was running for Prime Minister and it wasn't going well. He needed a splashy stunt.

And since Nelson Mandela is considered virtually a god in most black third world countries, Warner decided he'd fly to SA, get some pictures taken with Mandela, splash them all over T & T media and get some points with the voters.

Problem was that, even before he left, Mandela's people advised Warner that there would be no meeting, no pictures, no nothing unless Jack signed an agreement stipulating that nothing would be used for political purposes. Nelson's old but he's not a fool.

Warner refused to sign but went anyway. He scheduled a meeting for no particular purpose with some soccer officials so that FIFA would pay the tab for the trip (of course) and then showed up at Mandela's offices where the Old Lion, true to his word, refused to see him, publicly or privately, or communicate with him in any way.

Not that it mattered. Warner got back on the plane to T & T where he announced to great fanfare that he had indeed met with the great man and gotten his endorsement!

What's even worse is that FIFA - blatantly interfering with a national election - put a big announcement on their website which, while it wasn't exactly a lie....well, you decide:

“Fifa vice-president Jack Warner paid a whistle-stop visit to SA today to meet with Nelson Mandela as well as executives of the country’s Premier Soccer League [PSL].

“The delegation paid a courtesy call on the Nelson Mandela Foundation’s Johannesburg offices to see South Africa’s revered 89-year-old statesman.”

Mandela stuck to his guns and his people fired back, in the person of one Zelda la Grange, his spokesman:

“Mr Warner did not see Mr Mandela as he was not in agreement that Mr Mandela could not be approached to endorse an election campaign or a candidacy.”

Immediately afterwards, FIFA pulled the announcement from their website, and Jack had to settle for paying Martin Luther King Jr. to fly down and pose with him. Just not the same thing.


The people of T & T, in their wisdom, decided to elect someone other than a lying dirtbag who, on the one hand supports a guy who tried to line his pockets by trading with the regime that kept Nelson Mandela in prison for 27 years and then tries to get Mandela's endorsement in a political campaign and lies about it when he can't.

But when you're Jack Warner, scruples aren't much of a hurdle.