Earthquakes slow to make big moves, which is sort of ironic if you consider their nickname

Unless you care about Sue(n with a tilde)o MLS a lot more than I do - in other words, at all - you probably haven't been too enthralled with MLSnet recently. At least teams are starting to actually play meaningful games now - congratulations, DC United, on using the US government's fascist-neo-crypto-imperialist visa system to beat Harbor (if you want the extra "u", you have to lose by fewer than five goals) View.

Oops! That was a spoiler!

Whew. Good save.

But this, for example, shows that even nothing can be interesting. If a little worrisome for Quakes fans.

For the terminally allergic to lick-clinking*, remember when San Jose picked players in the expansion draft, and we all thought "Pretty good, but they're gonna have to get a forward from somewhere." Several months later, and their forward corps still consists entirely of Kei Kamara and Gavin Glinton.

Earthquakes? More like CONTINENTAL DRIFT.

Thank you. I thought of that all by myself.

So, the league website runs a story saying, effectively, "You wanna step it up a little, guys?" Yet Ridge Mahoney tells us that Yallop thinks the current Quakes roster is just fine, thank you.

Historically speaking, Frank prefers to bring in as few new faces as possible. Fine...unless the existing guys can't do the job. And he's happy with rotating his top 15 players or so - the rest of the team is pretty much there for reserve games. Fine...until some guys get hurt. And he would rather you pour the beer rather than ******** it.

Wait, that was Frank Booth, not Frank Yallop. I get those guys mixed up. Although laughing gas would have helped a LOT last year.

Booth - sorry - Yallop is also unusually devoted to the idea of re-forming the 2003 Earthquakes. He tried the past couple of years in Los Angeles, and we saw how that worked out. Now Jamil Walker is getting another shot. That should work out better than Ian Russell did. Ridge Mahoney thought he was making a joke in saying that Yallop and Russell should suit up - Galaxy fans lived out part of that experience. Besides, the guy on the coaching staff San Jose really ought to suit up is Ronnie Ekelund.

Waiting for a single shoe to drop isn't the only frustration San Jose fans are dealing with. Not only do they have to twiddle their thumbs and whistle innocently whenever someone demands that Seattle have their franchise revoked because Qwest is a substandard field, but they have not had another Joe Cannon blog entry since before Taylor Twellman's birthday.

A rank injustice. And I can't imagine why MLS hasn't put Joe Cannon's blog on the main page, and demanded he update it daily. Judging by the references to studs and co-eds in Cannon's last, um, entry, the Quakes' mascot should be a triceratops. Because they sure seem horny. Don't tell me they've been celibate since Taylor Twellman's birthday, either. MLS can't be under the sad misapprehension that this won't get fans flocking to games, either. This is what Cannon's doing for you, Quake fans:

Earthquake fans don't ask for much, these days. Just a 3-27 record (provided those three wins are against the Galaxy). But you can't dangle the prospect of the wackiest player postings since Jimmy Conrad (YET ANOTHER ex-Earthquake), then have him take a month off with practice. Has Allen Iverson taught us nothing? Jimmy Conrad had a better game against Italy than Zinedine Zidane. Why? BLOGGING.

Forget Ivan Gazidis' outline for the league's future!** MLS erotic fanfic is the wave of the future! Free Cannon's keyboard!

*typo kept in because it amused me.
**er...do as I say, not as I do, 'cause I was gonna post on it at some point.