Ricketts trying out with Crew

Was a time when, instead of this thread reeking of underwhelmament, this news would have crashed BigSoccer and left the keyboards of the Internet-American soccer community covered with dripping brain matter.

Those of you who have Come of Age in the MLS Era will have heard the stories told as you were being bounced upon your grandpappy's knees, but back in the days when the entire Yanks Abroad site consisted of ten names with "DNP" after them, we were scouring the globe for anyone we could call a U.S. American. Basically, if you were playing abroad in the mid-90's, someone started a thread demanding your inclusion on the national team. People really thought these guys would be the Messiah. These guys actually got caps. These guys actually made the World Cup team.

But the Holy Grail was always young Walsall/Bolton Wanderers superduperstar forward Michael Ricketts. It turned out that he was never actually eligible to play for the United States, but that barely failed to stem years and years of longing from fans who for some reason weren't madly in love with the idea of Roy Wegerle and Eric Wynalda up top. Forty-five minutes in 2002 wrecked those dreams forever.

Thankfully, we're not as desperate these days as to keep grasping at straws even when it's completely obvious that the guy will never play for oh god damn it