The long, dark drive-time of the soul takes place on the 405 every night and day. We hear voices trying to reach out to our empty spirits, but we have little to give. Odin gave an eye for wisdom. Jesus died on the cross to redeem mankind's sins. I called The Dave Show on 710 AM.
One of the Daves is a friend...acquaintance...after this call, I think he would run me down in the street...but he's fought the good fight to get soccer on local talk radio. And this was his reward.
Some guy in Wisconsin quit his job on Tuesday, so the topic was who in sports would you consider to be an "iron man." Dave has covered the Galaxy, and I of course am a huge fan, and obviously the local icon who deserves recognition for longevity would be the all-time US men's cap leader and 12-year Galaxy icon, Cobi Jones.
So, naturally, I said "Celestine Babayaro."
In the words of Stalin, I thought it would be funny.
I decided to helpfully fill the stunned silence that followed - after all, dead air on the radio is bad for ratings. "Number 33 will always be in our hearts!" I continued. Perhaps my voice went up a register. Perhaps not. Reasonable minds can differ. "I'd like to see Brett Favre, Bart Starr, Max McGee, any of THOSE guys play forty-five minutes of a preseason friendly!"
The sad thing about cell phones is that they don't have the loud, comedic dial tone to let the person know they've been cut off, and, more to the point, don't have to keep talking. This was partly my fault, as I should have known professional radio talk shows rarely keep callers on for twenty minutes straight.
There will be plenty of outlets asking plenty of questions as to why soccer is still a niche sport in America. But not on the Dave Show. They know the answer.