MLS Preseason Power Rankings

In order of coolness of team slogan.

1. Chicago - 10 Years of Tradition, Honor, + Passion. 1998-2008 Style points removed because of the laziness in replacing the word "and" with not even an ampersand, but a plus sign. That only saves one keystroke, what with having to hit the Shift key. The Oxford comma doesn't bug me as much as it should.
2. San Jose - Return of the Quakes. So it sounds like a sequel to a sequel. That's what the San Jose Earthquakes are.
3. Toronto - All For One. As in, all that work for one win a month.
4. DC United - Welcome to Our House. Pretty bland by itself, but a nice way of saying "Thank God the Expos have finally left." Bit weird to pump up RFK when DC United is at least as anxious to leave it as the Nationals were, but there you go.
5. Kansas City - The World's Game. Kansas City's Team. Mostly harmless.
6. Columbus - Work Hard. Play Harder. 7. Houston - Forever Orange. I should hate this. Why don't I hate this? It's really pretty stupid. Yet I don't hate it. This demands further study.
8. Colorado - Play the World's Game. I've often suspected that fans could crack the roster at any given point in the season.
9. FC Dallas - shots of players and fans, randomized with every refresh. Minimalist.
10. New England - players mobbing the US Open Cup. I'd like it, but I have a sinking feeling they're trying to make fans think it was the MLS Cup. Plus, they ripped off the no slogan idea from Dallas.*
11. New York - God damn it, three teams with no slogan is killing this ranking list.
12. Real Salt Lake - four teams with no slogan. What is MLS spending all these advertising millions on, anyway?
13. (tie) Chivas USA - It's In Your Blood. Hey, it's packed the stands for years now, why change?
13. (tie) Los Angeles - The Stars Align. Hey, it was the slogan of a worldwide laughingstock last year, why change?

*Almost certainly a lie, but I'm afraid the decision of the judges is final