The Parade of the Clueless

The San Luis Obispo Police Department

Apparently SLO's finest had some concerns about just HOW MUCH VIOLENCE THEY SHOULD EXPECT at the hotly contested, passions-running-amok preseason clash between the Crew and the NeoQuakes.

Listen guys, I appreciate due diligence as much a the next guy, but you've been listening to Jim Rome a little to much. The Crew is having a hard enough time maintaining a fan base in their own building; worrying about how many busloads of hard-core, stone-drunk Ohioans are going to pour off the mile long caravan of buses making the 4000 mile trek to SLO for a preseason game against a team that didn't even exist last year is...well, a little much.

The News Journal, Wilmington Delaware

Ace reporter Kevin Noonan apparently drew the short straw this week and had to write an article about WHETHER SOCCER CAN GET ENOUGH SUPPORT TO SURVIVE in Philadelphia.

He began, as they all do these days, by chatting with the "founder" of the Sons of Ben, who assured Noonan that the team would be a rousing success. Fair enough.

So where did he go next? To MLS? A quick review of the 12 year history of the league, the TV contracts, the sponsorship money, the growing momentum or the number of cities and deep pocket guys scrambling to get on board?

No indeed; instead, he rang up the "coach" of - I hope you're sitting down - an actual "girls traveling team"!! Be still my heart.

Then he talks to some woman who subscribes to "soccer channels", clearly marking her as an exert on the economic future of soccer in the US. She opines that it just isn't going to work in Philadelphia without David Beckham "or somebody like him". (I myself have been asking exactly who on the planet is even remotely like Beckham, but nobody ever has an answer)

Next, our faithful correspondent, hurrying to finish this odious task before lunch, speaks with the head of some Delaware referees association, who figures it'll only work if they give away enough free stuff at the games.

Thanks for the insights, Kevin. We'll take it from here.

Former Fusion Fan

Nobody sympathizes with the royal screwing over that Fusion fans got in 2001 more than I do. It was an absolute disgrace. They had a better stadium for soccer than 90% of the league and a growing and fiercely loyal fan base, but they also had Victor Whore-owitz, a classless, brainless, two-faced liar who suddenly realized that he wasn't going to get rich owning an MLS team.

The guys who insisted they were going to bury the Supporter's Shield in a swamp somewhere rather than give it back notwithstanding, a small group of the faithful came out for a nostalgic reunion at the RAPIDS/MORMONS GAME YESTERDAY IN SOUTH FLORIDA .

(Coincidentally, there were four former players there, two on the field and two on the sidelines. A warm glow of nostalgia I'm sure for the sad, sorry guys who showed up in their by-now-badly-fraying Fusion shirts.)

Of course much of the talk was about Miami Mayor Manny Diaz' strong push for a soccer stadium and MLS team, but at least one fan insisted that he'd much prefer the games to be held "in Lockhart"

My friend, take a two tips from a lifelong Cleveland Browns fan as well as a passionate believer in the proposition that MLS has a moral obligation to pay back Florida's soccer fans for the price they paid to keep the rest of the league alive:

1) What you end up getting is not even close to being the same as what they took away. That's gone and, as fans in San Jose are about to find out, it doesn't really ever come back.

2) Lockhart Stadium is scheduled for demolition. Playing games there is going to be tough.