First! I'm First!

So with Danny and "We-all-know-who-but-can't-say" both still snug in bed - different ones, I assure you - I probably ought to take this opportunity to discuss "Twink" Cohen, a blubbering meatbag on FSC who has an actual British accent and everything, but who would be dumb enough to waste valuable space on that useless twatwaffle?

Instead, here are some stories of actual interest:

On a less cheery note, The Telegraph in England HAS POSTED A SUMMARY OF THAT LUDICOUS SIMERS COLUMN from a couple days ago.

This is part of the problem with ignorant garbage like that - it gets reprinted and noticed elsewhere and makes US soccer fans look like idiots. I'm sure the L.A. Times is proud.

Speaking of Beckham, Edmonton is taking a novel approach in regard to their scheduled May 13 match between the Galaxy and the Whitecaps: IF BECKHAM DOESN'T SHOW then you get your money back.

Apparently they're not familiar with that old Farengi saying about never giving anyone their money back. But mentioning it brings up "Twink" again, and I'm just not going there.

Finally, in honor of Valentine's Day, I hereby offer, courtesy of FANHOUSE, a photo of Gemma Atkinson, the girl that Christiano Ronaldo will be sending roses and chocolates to today and getting, I'm sure, an appropriate "thank you" from a bit later.

May you be as fortunate.